Pamela's Llama Pen

Creedocide!

2009-06-24T22:08:00.001+10:00

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8fkrq_creedocide_fun

Have they found Atlantis?

2009-02-24T00:46:00.000+11:00

A "grid of streets" on the seabed at one of the proposed locations
of the lost city of Atlantis has been spotted on Google Ocean.

If you have Google Earth you can check it out for yourself at these coordinates: 31 15'15.53N 24 15'30.53W

Seriously, even if it's not Atlantis, it is still an amazing find!

Original article can be read here:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/technology/google/4731313/Google-Ocean-Has-Atlantis-been-found-off-Africa.html

Science Fail

2008-10-29T19:26:00.003+11:00

My god people, the Australian drought problem is solved!!!

see more pwn and owned pictures

Don't worry folks, it's just the moon...

2008-10-24T01:37:00.000+11:00

I can't believe I missed this earlier!!!

Police say UFO

was just the Moon

Police called out to a 999 call about
an unexplained object in the night sky solved the mystery straight away
for their operator - "it's the Moon, over."

But the emergency call meant the officers were sent out to a house in the valleys area of south Wales.

They were told a "bright stationary object" was spotted above the unnamed caller's home.

A recording of the call has been released as part of a police campaign asking people to use 999 appropriately.

The Control Room conversation, which took place in May, was recorded - and below is a transcript:

Control Room: "South Wales Police, what's your emergency?"

Caller: "It's not really. I just need to inform you that across the mountain there's a bright stationary object."

Control room: "Right."

Caller: "If you've got a couple of minutes perhaps you
could find out what it is? It's been there at least half an hour and
it's still there."

Control: "It's been there for half an hour. Right. Is it actually on the mountain or in the sky?"

Caller: "It's in the air."

Control: "I will send someone up there now to check it out."

Caller: "OK."

The mystery was soon solved, as the exchange between control and an officer at the scene, makes clear.

Control: "Alpha Zulu 20, this object in the sky, did anyone have a look at it?"

Officer: "Yes, it's the moon. Over."

Control room staff also dealt with a stream of unsuitable calls
on the 999 number during an "extremely busy period", said a spokesman.

Another caller rang asking for help when they wanted to vote for Rhydian on the TV programme X-Factor.

'Real emergencies'

Another wanted a pound for their supermarket trolley.

Following the calls, South Wales Police has changed the way it answers the phone.

Instead of saying "South Wales Police, how can I help?", control
room staff now say "South Wales Police what is your emergency?"

Since the change, they have reported a 10% drop in 999 calls.

Superintendent Kevin O'Neill said: "There is no doubt in my mind
that the public have taken on board the message we sent about making
inappropriate 999 calls and thought twice about dialling the number in
a non-emergency situation for which we are extremely grateful.

"Thanks to the public we have been able to answer calls, concerning real emergencies, quicker," said Supt O'Neill.

Between January and June 2008, the force answered 86.4% of calls
within 10 seconds compared to 76.2% in the same period last year - an
improvement of just over 10%.

The change in the greeting is being monitored by Cardiff
University researchers Professor Martin Innes of the Universities
Police Science Institute and Dr Frances Rock of the Centre for Language
and Communication.

BBC NEWS | UK | Wales | Police say UFO was just the Moon

What Was #1 on the Day You Were Born?

2008-08-19T01:25:00.000+10:00

This day in Music

Found this cool website. Tells you what was #1 in the charts the day you were born. I seem to be haunted by Phil Collins

UK: Easy Lover - Philip Bailey and Phil Collins

US: One More Night - Phil Collins

AUS: One Night In Bangkok - Murray Head

Spook Country: Review

2008-03-19T21:40:00.002+11:00

That's right folks, I come to you with another book review. This time of William Gibson's Spook Country.

Let me first state that I have always been a fan of William Gibson. I found Neuromancer wholly original, and Pattern Recognition an absolute joy to read. With this in mind Spook Country left me entirely underwhelmed.

Perhaps this feeling I have comes a lot from the way I approach this book. By this I mean my cultural milieu. I approached it from the point of view of a ‘young Australian’. It felt like there were so many things in this book I could simply not relate to. My youth made the language seem strained, almost like Gibson was trying too hard to be ‘hip’, and the consumerist driven action was far too – for wont of a better word – ‘American’,

The Plot follows three groups of people; Hollis Henry and her employers Blue Ant, as well as the rock band she used to be part of; Tito, a young Cuban-Chinese man (or is it boy? His age is only passingly mentioned, and then as a ‘he looked like’ not a ‘was’) and his underground crime family; Brown and Milgrim, a claimed DEA Agent and his captive. These stories see separate but naturally are working to the same conclusion which will lead them from their bases in America to the final showdown in Vancouver, Canada. This said however I think Gibson failed to give each group enough of a story or background. There are connections that are hinted at, but too cryptic for the reader to be certain. Perhaps this was intentional, but throughout the whole work I felt that I missing some fundamental point to each of the characters.

The characters themselves I found empty. I got no sense of motivation, or even appearance, from any of them. Rather than give his characters any personal definition Gibson instead chose to define them by the products they used, consumed, or had the money to acquire. Once again this was most likely intentional, but it made the characters very hard to relate to. The protagonist, Hollis Henry, is the only character with a defined past, but even that is superficial and shallow. Perhaps Gibson was attempting to draw attention to the culture they are currently in, rather than the characters themselves, but as a reader I personally find it difficult to relate to a novel, or even enjoy it enough to want to grasp its meaning if there is not even a single character with whom I can identify. I was irked by Gibson’s failure to let me know what the characters looked like, what their personalities were, or even where they were situated or what time it was. I could never tell if it was day or night. The ‘noir’ was simply so much that I just assumed all the action of the novel took place at night.

All motivation in this novel was pure which with a huge undertone of ‘because I want to’, or ‘because I can’. While this is a criticism of today’s Western society it is a very shallow look at a very complicated world. There were parts of the narrative that excited me, like the GPS driven locative art created by the artists it is originally Hollis’ objective to investigate. For me this was completely original and I wanted more investigation into this side of the world from which the characters originated. Imagine my disappointment when this wonderful concept turned out to be completely incidental to the plot, which drives us toward an ultimately disappointing conclusion.

The plot is so full of incidental information. I felt often it was placed in just to give the characters some rudimentary sense of identity, rather than to say or advance anything really substantial. The only thing I could derive from these hastily constructed artistic backgrounds was that art needs to enter commerce to survive. Was this the amazing revelation that this book claimed it would give me about the society in which I live? I certainly hope not. I am not above admitting that there may be a deep and complex point that I simply may not have understood. I am however an intelligent, educated human being. I very rarely feel that a book is ‘over my head’ so to speak but perhaps this one is. If I delved deeper into it perhaps I might find the promised revelation of my reality staring me in the face, but to be frank the book was not constructed in a way that gave me any interest or inclination to re-read it, let alone pull it apart and find its hidden meanings.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not by any stretch of the imagination a ‘terrible’ book. I simply found it un-engaging and alienating. The constant product placement made me even more unable to relate. I don’t wear Adidas, I don’t us a PowerBook, and I simply don’t think that using an iPod for data storage instead of simply music is an original concept.

Frankly Spook Country is readable, but far from Gibson’s best work. The overall experience was underwhelming and disappointing. I can only rate this novel at half stars.

Myf to Triple M

2007-10-09T18:40:00.000+10:00

Thanks to news.com for giving me horrible news. (and Shane). Officially Myf sucks.

TRIPLE J darling and Spicks and Specks star Myf Warhurst looks set to join Peter Helliar as a co-host on Triple M's new Melbourne breakfast radio show.

Sources tell Confidential that the deal is all but done, and that Warhurst will vacate her Sydney breakfast slot on the ABC youth network for the gig at Triple M next year.

It will be the first commercial venture for Warhurst, who has also developed a cult following for her role on Spicks and Specks.

She has been described as the ABC's accidental "It girl", a tag Warhurst finds strange.

"People just look at you like they know you, but they don't know where they know you from," she told the Herald Sun this year.

"I think people have been disappointed when they meet me. It's like, 'You don't look anything like the girl on the telly' and I'm like, 'C'mon'."

Warhurst grew up in regional Victoria and started in radio as Merrick and Rosso's showbiz reporter on Triple J in 1999.

Robyn is here?

2007-10-06T00:03:00.000+10:00

Ok, so I've been enjoying the Robyn tracks that Triple J have been playing lately and decided to download the album. I downloaded something, and through a slight mishap I ended up with the wrong album, which led me to this discovery...

and

SAME FUCKING PERSON!!!!?!!! Seriously, who knew?

(Do you think Triple J knows, or are they just keeping it a big secret? lol)

Monkography

2007-08-18T18:51:00.000+10:00

Here's a cute little animation done by Brendon Mikronis, with Audio by my boyfriend Shane Andison. I loved it when I saw it, so I thought I'd share it with you all. What do you think?

Execution style shooting in a school car park

2007-08-06T14:19:00.001+10:00

Three teenagers lined up against wall, shot in head | NEWS.com.au

* Teens lined up against wall, shot in head
* Shooting took place in school carpark
* Victim's sister wounded, recovering in hospital

THREE teenagers were lined up against a wall of a school carpark and shot in the head in a shocking triple murder in the US for which police have found no motive.

While the precise ages of the victims was not immediately known, reports from the scene in New Jersey have said they were all teenagers.

Identification tags from Delaware State University were found on the bodies, police have said.

The three were killed execution-style in a school carpark in Newark. They were named as Ofemi Hightower, Terrance Aeriel and Deshawn Harvey.

A fourth victim was wounded in the shooting. The injured 19-year-old woman was the sister of one of those murdered.

She is recovering in hospital.

Police have said they have made no arrests and have no idea of the motive behind the shocking slayings.

A spokesman for the local prosecutor's office said: "All four were good kids".

"They never had any issues with the law," the spokesman was quoted by the NJ.com website as saying. "It's a real tragedy."

That report suggested there may have been a confrontation between the victims and another group before the killings.

It said the shootings took place near the playground of the Mt Vernon School.

********

Thanks to Matt for forwarding this article. Even thought the death toll is smaller, this actually hits me far worse than things like the Columbine or Virginia Tech shootings. You are able to put them down to the impetuousness, and the mental trauma of youth, and while you can't condone it, you can understand it. This to me seems far more cold-blooded, and planned.

Es gibt kein bier auf Hawaii

2007-08-01T01:24:00.001+10:00

So, today I am viewing my wonderful Cute Overload email, where the following video was featured...

I nearly had a heart attack with laughing. For those of you who don't speak German, which I know is a lot of you, this is a song my grandfather and my mother both sang to me when I was little to make me laugh when I was sad...the rough translation of which goes something like this:

There is no beer in Hawaii
There is no beer
That's why I'll never go to Hawaii
That's why I'll stay here.

Hands up if the dog didn't really look like it wanted beer or Hawaii!!

That all just made me laugh. A completely innappropriate song for a dog in a completely innappropriate position.

And you so you don't think I've denied you all, a quick translation of the end of the song which is not used in the video:

It is so hot in Hawaii
There are no cool spots
And because of all the huula-ing
The thirst just won't go away.

So there you go, a little taste of the crazy German mentality, and a cute video to boot. :)

LOL CATZ is teh bomzors

2007-07-30T16:10:00.001+10:00

I simply thought that this was too cute to pass up....

Tiny Plaid Ninjas

2007-07-24T03:49:00.001+10:00

I always thought that over my many, many, many hours of pointlessly surfing the web when I should have been doing a great number of other things, that I had somehow managed to see all the strange, bizarre web toons that were worth watching.

I have just found definitive proof that I missed the most important one.

Just to make sure the rest of you don't make the same mistake I did, I bring to you the TINY PLAID NINJAS!!!

Don't let another day go by without you watching this. :D

I sang to a baseball bat because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.

2007-06-24T18:10:00.001+10:00

This is something that Kirsten, a good friend of mine, emailed to me a while ago. I loved it, but never sent it on to anyone. So finally, here is my contribution (refer to subject line).

For those of you who have never seen this, it's lots of fun. To find out yours do the following:

Pick the month you were born in:

January--I kissed
Febuary--I danced with
March--I sang to
April--I vaccumed
May--I ate
June--I cried with
July--I ran with
August--I danced with
September--I smoked with
October--I spanked
November--I cried for
December--I loved

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1-------a football player
2-------my best friends boyfriend
3-------a vacuum
4-------a fork
5-------a gangster
6-------chuck norris
7-------my true love
8-------my dog
9-------a llama
10-------my neighbor
11-------an ipod
12-------a banana
13-------YOUR mom
14-------monkey
15-------a goat
16-------a ruler
17------- my crush
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a squirrel
21-------a ninja
22-------a fireman
23-------a noodle
24-------a pickle
25-------a baseball bat
26-------YOUR sister
27-------a cd
28-------a sasquatch
29-------a homeless guy
30-------my science teacher
31------- a mexican

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:

White------Because I was drunk
Black-------Because i keep it gangsta
Pink--------Because im in love.
Red---------Because the voices told me to.
Blue--------Because im sexy and i do what i want.
Green------Because I hate myself.
Purple------Because Im cool like that.
Gray--------Because thats how i roll.
Yellow------Because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange----Because i hate my family.
Other-------Because i wuz high
Maroon-----Becuz he took my taco
Teal-----cuz it was illegal
Brown-----cuz i wanted its ***
Amethyst----Because emos suck
Caramel----cuz Charlie told me too

So, post your answers for the day... yesterday's answers were a little depressing... Mine was "I sang to a baseball bat because I hate myself" and Shane's was "I smoked with a homeless guy because I was drunk." Lets hope your answers are slightly more cheerful than that. ;)

Public Service Announcement!

2007-05-25T00:01:00.000+10:00

Gifts for Ben...

2007-05-09T20:20:00.000+10:00

...and anyone else as perverted as he is... :P

Nah, not really. You'll love it. Kept me disturbingly amused for a good 10 minutes...you almost forget what you're looking at. If you want to mystery solved click here .

Requiem for my lost innocence...

2007-05-09T00:27:00.000+10:00

Ok, finally, after saying for years that I really need to see Requiem For a Dream, I finally saw it tonight. I think I died a little inside. Whatever childish innocence managed to be left to me after American Psycho disappeared in a puff of smoke (no pun intended) while I watched this film.

It's brilliant. It's real, it's dirty, it's bleak, and yet still darkly humorous when it's not making you want to kill yourself. It shows that addiction can be so much more than just drugs, and that it's so very easy to let things take over your life, whether they be substances, a fixation on certain ideas, or even simply an overwhelming wish for everything to go right, but it ultimately failing because we fail to think of the long term, and think in terms of instant gratification; what will make us feel good in the now, which in the end only gives you unreal expectations, filling your days with denial and delusion.

It's not a happy film, and it is essentially about drugs and addiction. There is no happy ending, the characters make no peaceful resolutions. You will not finish this film and feel good, but the sheer force of the story telling makes this film well worth seeing. Don't deny yourself this view into a world that is not so completely unlike our own. Maybe it's not you, but it could be someone you know or love, or even a friend of a friend. What the film really shows is it could be anyone, and it's so easy to fall. So easy you may not even notice until it's too late.

I couldn't resist...

2007-05-03T20:31:00.000+10:00

Come on, you'll forgive me for this one...

Pretty people + WHITE SUITS + robobots? = EUROVISION!!!!!

OMG It's EUROVISION!!!

2007-05-03T20:02:00.000+10:00

Get your Euro gear and Euro snacks out people. Second weekend in May is EUROVISION on SBS at 8:30. Preliminaries are on Saturday the 12th, and Finals are Sunday the 13th. I'll be getting my white suit out for my Eurovision party, where will you be?

Just a taste of the winners for the last few years:

(2004) Ruslana - Ukraine!!!! Xena with hot Ukranian Viking guys, and scantily leather-clad women. I don't know how you can go wrong.

(2005) Elena Paparizou - Greece. Ok, song sucks balls, but it's pure Euro. Bootscooting, Irish-Dancing Greek men who thrust their chests and a woman with a skirt so short you can see her bra...besides the guys are wearing...wait for it...white.

(2006) Lordi - Finland. No words...should have sent a poet. With gems such as "Arockaplyse", and "the day of Rockening". Come on people, gold! Besides, they're all so very hot. ;)

And just one more for good measure...for me it truly epitomizes Eurovision... Sakis Rouvas from Greece for Eurovision 2004...

1) WHITE SUITS
2) He pulls scarves out of god knows where...
3) The music is appalling...
4) For some unknown reason they do the river dance thing again...
5) The WHITE SUITS get removed to reveal shimmery, gold, very scant bikinis...seriously watch closely, if you blink you might think they legitimately just have disappearing clothes!
6) A midriff singlet on a guy!
7) The perfect finale to any song is of course when two women rip a man's clothes off...

Enjoy!

And with that I bid you good night. Enjoy the fun of Eurovision, and I'll see you next time. I wonder what treats Finland will have in store for us...

Spot The Difference...

2007-04-25T23:11:00.000+10:00

Look at the images below and try and spot the difference...

It seems that there are a number of people in our home of Australia who are unable to see that these two images may not be the same thing.

Today being Anzac Day, I finally realised the extent of the stupidity that this country is able to display. I was disgusted by the number of times that the infamous Collingwood vs. Essendon AFL game was compared to the Anzac spirit. They kept drawing ridiculous conclusions from far fetched comparisons to justify a game of football on a day of rememberance. They even went so far as to mention the age of conscription and how similar it is to the age that their players get signed to clubs. Yeah, you fucking morons, because I'm sure all those guys who went to war vastly preferred seeing their friends die, lose limbs, suffer from malnutrition, dysentery and gangrene only to return home and have nightmares for the rest of their lives about the attrocities they've seen, than join a football club and get paid more money than I'll ever see in my life to kick a ball, touch other guys asses, get drunk in pubs and be drooled over by women with nothing better to do.

If you failed to spot the difference in my diatribe, you might want to look to your mental health...

Watzing Matilda: Explained

2007-04-20T22:13:00.000+10:00

Thanks to Uncyclopedia we have finally been brought the translation of our un-official national anthem into lay-man's English.

***

The song's appeal

Reasons for the strong empathy Australians feel for this song include:

it's easy to remember while drunk
it makes fun of homeless people
it makes fun of the police
it has a sheep in it

The Translation:

Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong

A happy tramp dressed in women's clothes shared his drugs with Bill

Under the shade of a coolibah tree

Under a tree. If you couldn't figure this one out, you need better help than I can offer

And he sang as he watched and waited 'til his Billy boiled

The tramp lulled Billy into a false sense of security, then killed him and stuck him in a pot

"Who'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me?"

I just gotta DANCE!

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda

Dance, Dance

Who'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me

I need someone to dance with me

And he sang as he watched and waited 'til his Billy boiled

He sang to drown out poor Billy's screams, granted he was dead, but he's like one of those lobsters

"Who'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me?"

I just gotta DANCE!

Down came a jumbuck to drink at the water-hole

Go away!

Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee

Fine. A jumbuck is a sheep, and... oh my god

And he sang as he stuffed that jumbuck in his tuckerbag

No way. There might be children reading this, for god's sake!

"You'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me."

...Forget it, you're on your own

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda...

(By this point, the singer is invariably drunker than a fish living in beer, and repeats the last line until unconscious.)

***

Who can't relate to that gem?

Spiders on Drugs: Exposed!!

2007-04-11T18:46:00.000+10:00

Har Mar Superstar and the Red Hot Chili Peppers

2007-04-11T18:32:00.000+10:00

Why anyone thought that Har Mar Superstar would be a good support for the Peppers is beyond me, but I for one think he rocks.

I went to the Peppers gig in Melbourne last night (Tuesday) not having any idea who the support was. I was soooo excited when I found out it was him since he's the funniest guy I've ever seen on stage. He's this fat, not terribly young, balding guy who somehow manages to make himself into a sex god on stage. He's not afraid to take the piss out of himself, and without fail ends up on stage in nothing but his underwear.

Anyway, he got boo'd non stop on stage at the gig. I was so disgusted with the crowd and made sure I cheered extra loud with the few of us who loved him. It was quite depressing, but he handled it really well, and just didn't give a fuck and loved being on stage all the same.

So...this is just a shoutout to Har Mar Superstar from a fan in Melbourne who was cheering for you while the rest of the crowd boo'd. Fuck them I say. You rocked all the same. Keep doing great work.

Anyway, check out his website at www.harmarsuperstar.com and if you get a chance listen to the song D.U.I. (Dialling Under the Influence - launch the e-card, it's playing in the background), something I'm sure we've all done at some stage in our lives.

Nicholas Cage + Bear Suit + Violence towards Women. Australia says...well, you tell me...

2007-04-06T23:58:00.000+10:00

I recently made the mistake of hiring the Wicker Man remake from my local video store...There is only 1 reason anyone should see this film, and that is because at moments it is unintentionally funny. Perhaps the trailer should have gone something like this...

and for those of you who missed why this film could possibly be amusing...here it is again in slow motion...

Have a totally pimpin' Easter

2007-03-28T00:36:00.000+10:00

Click on the image above to find out just WHY this Easter will be pimpin.' Pink chucks people, pink chucks...

How to 'boink' your vehicle...

2007-03-27T01:08:00.000+10:00

To all you guys out there, this appeals to that side of you that sees a sexy car driving along the road, and all you really want to do is...well I won't go into details. But here, for your reading pleasure is a step by step guide on just how to live you those fantasies. You can read it here.

In conclusion, people are really, really, really fucked up.

Warning: Lyrics post coming up. Tune out if you were expecting something more impressive.

2007-03-23T23:32:00.000+11:00

Lead singer from Blink 182's relatively new-ish band. Check them out. I kinda like them. Very epic.

Angels and Airwaves - Do It For Me Now

I'm frightened at night and the wind has a roar
It seeps through the hall and from under the door
Like the shit that was said
I can't take it that well
I give and I give and I give and I give and I'm still
Lost and hurt and bone thin from the love that's been starved
I know it got close but I'm sure it's too far
From the point of suspense, we know it should be
The end of that part of our favorite movie
When the guy grabs the girl and gives her his hand
Says take me away from this torturous land
Cause the grave is set up, the hole that I dug
I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave you my trust
Like the time that we kissed and you gave me a lie
To add to the scene you pretended to cry
But I'm here and I'm cool, the way that it is
Just give me a chance and I'll try to forgive

And I don't know
And I can't guess
If it's gonna be OK
But now my last wish
Is that you do this with me
Kiss me here and hold my hand
Let me feel like I'm the only one
I know you can
Won't you do it for me now

I've really had it with the rain of the tears
The predictable storm that has come every year
And it sneaks in from shore with a bat in its hand
I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I can't
You're a thief and a witch but I love you to death
You steal my heart and curse under your breath
But the one thing that I can most willingly prove
That when you are gone I'll be fine without you

And I don't know
And I can't guess
If it's gonna be OK
But now my last wish
Is that you do this with me
Kiss me here and hold my hand
Let me feel like I'm the only one
I know you can
Won't you do it for me now?

Now just hold on, hold on to me

Cute or Sad?

2007-03-21T00:31:00.000+11:00

Ok peoples, here is something truly fucked up!!!! Check it out. I can't decided whether it's the cutest thing I've ever seen, or the saddest. What do you think?

The Dog Suicide Bridge

2007-03-19T00:12:00.000+11:00

Overtoun Bridge near Dumbarton in west Scotland is the location for a mystery. Since the 1950's, it has been the scene of at least fifty, unexplained, dog deaths, which have horrified local dog owners.

Most of the dogs were long-nosed breeds; Labradors, Collies and Retrievers. Dog deaths have occurred in every season, but notably, on clear days, a rarity in this grey, wet part of Scotland. All of the dogs leapt from the same side of the bridge

According to legend, this is a place of dark deeds, tragedy and superstition. On one occasion, a man, behaving very erratically, threw his young baby from the bridge, believing it to be possessed by the devil.

In recent years the number of deaths has risen dramatically, with five animals jumping in six months. The story continues to attract widespread media attention, giving rise to the theory that these dogs could be committing suicide.

Overtoun House and it's grounds have garnered a reputation as a centre for unexplained phenomena. In Celtic mythology, Overtoun is known as a "thin" place. A place where Heaven and Earth are reputed to be close. Some have speculated that sensitive dogs are being spooked by something at the bridge.

The long leap from the bridge onto the waterfalls of the Overtoun Estate almost always results in immediate death. Inexplicably, some dogs have actually survived, recuperated, and then returned to the site to jump again. The dogs have mostly jumped from one side of the bridge, during clear weather.

The phenomenon has received international attention, and the Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has sent representatives to investigate. No abnormality or explanation has yet been found.

Many people believe theories such as the winds coming from Loch Lomond or a ghost, perhaps that of a lady who resided in the area, influence the dogs to jump off the bridge. Others suggest the bridge's architecture as the cause.

Paranormal experts have traveled to the site to conduct investigations, and have not found anything unusual.

All that said however, the most likely explanation now seems to be that the scent of mink which are bred nearby, combined with the high, solid walls of the bridge makes the dogs jump, as they are completely unaware there is a 50 foot drop on the other side. Whoever said curiosity killed the cat clearly never met the dogs of Overtoun...

I told you she was hot...

2007-03-19T00:10:00.000+11:00

This is just a quick post for Ben, who claimed the Mona Lisa wasn't hot... This is just to prove him wrong. Enjoy Ben. Enjoy.

Awesome Tee-Shirts

2007-03-06T10:42:00.000+11:00

Most of you will have seen me wear some awesome tee-shirts around. Psychedelephants, Flowers in the Attic, Stabby McKnife. Ring a Bell?

Well, you too can wear awesome, awesome tee-shirts. They are designed by wearers, voted on by wearers and subsequently bought by wearers. Sizing is great, they're heavy duty, and just look fantastic.

I definitely recommend you all check it out, and make some purchases. You definitely won't regret it. Check out them threadless tee-shirts here. You'll look hot. ;)

Neill Saves Christmas

2007-02-20T23:04:00.000+11:00

Oh the joy!!! Brought to you by the makers of Potter Puppet Pals, and sexy snape, I share with you, Neill Saves Christmas. :D

The Top 5...

2007-02-20T00:50:00.000+11:00

I think every couple in this world has a top 5 people they'd let you cheat with if they ever (albeit unlikely) walked into your life. It seems nowadays that men who blog do nothing BUT list the women they'd sleep with; so you know what, I figured it was my turn, since these things inevitable come into conversations at some point anyway....

Top 5 Men:

1. Christian Bale

Call me weird (in fact, you will) but the hottest role he ever played was Patrick Bateman in American Psycho...mmm, bloody....

2. Stuart Townsend
Irish...and pretty...plus played a vampire...need I say more?

3. Mark Wahlberg
Not afraid to be photographed with his hands down his pants...

4. Jude Law
Has the most gorgeous eyes ever!!!

5. Ethan Hawke
Pretty, oh so pretty, and oh so innocent...

Top 5 Women:

1. Cate Blanchette
The most interesting looking person alive

2. Monica Bellucci
She's fucking Monica Bellucci. Do I really need to say anything else?

3. Sophie Marceau
She's so pretty and waifish.

4. Scarlet Johansson
Great body. It's nice to have someone with a figure.

5. Christina Ricci
Looks like a living doll.

...So, there you have it people. They are my top 5 people of each gender. Make of it what you will.

The Book of Revelations Got It Wrong...

2007-02-18T02:50:00.000+11:00

The apocalypse is coming, and it lies in the hands of two people, none of this seven headed hydra crap. These two people are Mickey Avalon, and Peaches. I'm almost 100% sure that if these two individuals were ever to come into any form of contact the world as we know it would cease to exist.

I ask you this question: What do you think would happen if you got

...Mickey Avalon...

...and Peaches...

...in a room together. Seriously, I want to know. I still maintain the end of the world.

Nappies for Duckies

2007-02-14T10:33:00.000+11:00

Why, for the love of god, why???

Should you, for some unexplained, completely alien reason to any kind of sanity wish to purchase a nappy, or any other kind of avian fashion for you poultry friend, head on over to Duckdiaper.com, there to suit all your avian fashion needs.

My mind still reels....

Too much study...

2007-02-14T10:05:00.000+11:00

Well, as most of you know

1) I HATE Buffy

2) I hate study

Put these two together, and you have my honours thesis. *sigh* I seriously can't be bothered with it anymore...way too much effort.

In a spate of procrastination of having to find and analyze Buffy fansites (trust me, the amount of Buffy slash fiction I've come across is apalling...and most of it isn't even well written. God, if you're going to write about sex, at least make it sexy!!!) I came across this funny little quiz. Tells me what Buffy character I'm most like. Well, we all knew that I was likely to become a homicidal maniac at any given time, this quiz just proved it.

Warren Mears

72% amorality, 45% passion, 45% spirituality, 45% selflessness

Focus--that's the word that best describes Warren Mears... and it just might be the word that best describes you. You're calm, cool and collected, down-to-earth, know what you want and are willing to do what it takes to achieve your goals. You might also be something of an evil genius. Congratulations!

The test can be found here.

Happy Valentines Day

2007-02-13T00:05:00.000+11:00

I know it's a bit early, but here's some love to prepare you for Wednesday. Just remember, whether you have a valentine or not, the llamas love you. :)

Naked Dancing Llamas!!!

2007-02-03T01:54:00.000+11:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you Dun for introducing me to what is quite possibly my new favourite website. Naked Dancing Llamas at frolic.org. Seriously, check it out. It is so much fun. Who can not love llamas? Put simply, the naked dancing llama is cheaper than psychotherapy, and he licks people's faces!

I'm sorry Ma'am, you can't park your van here...

2007-02-03T01:43:00.001+11:00

Now I know why I couldn't get the hang of it...

2007-01-31T21:31:00.000+11:00

Body of Work

2007-01-29T22:41:00.000+11:00

I just want to introduce you all to one of my new favourite artists. The stuff she can do with some paints and a naked body is amazing. If you look at the two pictures I've put up you can hardly believe that there is not a scrap of material on those bodies. It's all done with paint. You cannot deny that her talent is extreme.

Joanne Gair is an artist and image maker who has emerged as the premiere make-up artist/body painter in the world and now photographer in her own right. Originally from New Zealand, Gair had a keen interest in art photography and exploring different mediums, which is what eventually led her down the path as an illusionist and to the United States.

As a make-up artist and body painter, Gair has worked worldwide with the top photographers, directors, super models and celebrities. Her work spans all media, with many memorable editorial covers and layouts, fashion campaigns, advertising, music videos, commercials and motion pictures to her credit.

Among a few of the celebrities she has been associated with in her career are Madonna, Cindy Crawford, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kim Basinger, Christina Aguilera, Sophia Loren and Celine Dion. By being an essential part of their evolving looks, Gair has been able to establish treasured relationships with these clients. Her work with Madonna spanned 10 years and includes numerous music videos (Express Yourself, Vogue, Fever, Rain, Frozen), the Blonde Ambition Tour and its subsequent feature documentary Truth or Dare

Joanne Gair continues to drive herself to explore and experiment in her work, in an effort to bring something new to a project every time. In an industry besieged by trend followers, Gair has established herself as the trendsetter.

Happy Hottest 100 Day, aka Australia Day

2007-01-26T11:00:00.000+11:00

Hey all, hope you're all having more party fun than me. But even if you're not, you'd at least better be tuned in to the Hottest 100. Triple J baby!!

For those of you on the net go to abc.net.au/triplej

Otherwise, those in Melbourne tune in to 107.5. Best radio day of the year!!! :D

Edit: Ok, I take it back. Same problem as last year. Really sucky top 10!!!! :(

Augie March wins? What a piss weak pussy band to have as no.1!!! And Eskimo Joe second? Jesus people, get inventive and intersting!

Not Just Another Shit New Gameshow With Eddie Mcguire

2007-01-25T23:37:00.000+11:00

Thankyou Japan (and Liam). You produce nothing but things that amuse me. Used panty vending machines have nothing on this!!!

Fun Facts About Film

2007-01-17T19:02:00.000+11:00

Director: Alan Smithee

Alan Smithee, Allen Smithee, Alan Smythee, and Adam Smithee are pseudonyms used between 1968 and 1999 by Hollywood film directors who wanted to be dissociated from a film for which they no longer wanted credit. It was used when the director could prove to the satisfaction of a panel of members of the Directors Guild of America (DGA) and Association of Motion Picture and Television Producers that the film had been wrested from his or her creative control. The director is also required to keep the reason for the disavowal a secret. The pseudonym cannot be used to hide a director's failures.

The first known movie to use it was Death of a Gunfighter (1969). During its filming, Richard Widmark was unhappy with director Robert Totten. He arranged to have Totten replaced by Don Siegel. When the film was finished, neither Totten nor Siegel wanted to be credited with the result. At first it was decided that the credit should go to Al Smith, but the DGA said there had already been a director by that name. The DGA decided the film could carry the pseudonym "Allen Smithee", and the film was praised by film critics. The New York Times commented that the film was "sharply directed by Allen Smithee who has an adroit facility for scanning faces and extracting sharp background detail."

The name Smithee is used extensively in television and film, taking the direction credit for episodes of well-known series, including the pilot for the action-adventure series MacGyver. Jud Taylor twice used the pseudonym, for the TV movies Fade-In (also known as Iron Cowboy) (1968) with Burt Reynolds and City in Fear (1980) with David Janssen. Taylor commented on its use when the DGA's Robert B. Aldrich Achievement Award was awarded to "Smithee":

Smithee has also been credited with works in other genres, such as the music video for Whitney Houston's cover song "I Will Always Love You" from the soundtrack for The Bodyguard. The Destiny's Child music video for "Lose My Breath" is also attributed to Smithee, as are the guitar credits on the 2005 William Hung CD, Miracle: Happy Summer from William Hung.

Although the pseudonym was intended for use by directors, the 1981 film Student Bodies credited Allen Smithee as producer in place of the actual producer, Michael Ritchie. The film's director, Mickey Rose, was credited by his own name rather than a pseudonym.

Outside films, several 1995 comics involving the superhero Daredevil were attributed to the writing of Alan Smithee. Too bad the director of the film 'Daredevil' starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer 'Horse Face' Garner didn't do the same, because that film was a travesty if ever I've seen one. Given that Dune was such a travesty one can understand why David Lynch refused to put his name to it. Poor guy credited himself with the wrong one though. The television mini series, which is clearly better, is credited to Alan Smithee (apparently that's how it's credited in the DVD box set), whereas he kept his name to the film, which was the bad one. Nice going David Lynch. Just shows, you never know how something will turn out till it's finished.

Anyway, I thought that was a bit of fun. If you want to read some more, just look it up on Wikipedia; the home of all info. ;)

Saxton Freymann

2007-01-17T10:03:00.000+11:00

New Discovery for me: Food Art. This is precision people.

I never knew my food could have so much personality. I hope you all enjoy this guy's stuff as I do. You can view his gallery here. I promise it's worth it. Almost makes you sad you need to eat... But I promise, it passes. ;)

If there's a coffee table book, I want one! Hint hint guys...

Band Of Horses Rock

2007-01-15T00:09:00.000+11:00

...and while that's true, that is not at all what this post is about.

The truth is, I'm struggling at the moment to think of anything to blog about. So, I've decided to leave it up to you guys. If you want to hear me blog about something just tell me what and I shall oblige. I'll leave all the hard work up to you. :P

Besides, I always like having some comments to read. With any luck we can get a dialogue going like the one with god's rejects who had a field day with my post back last August about the Mona Lisa. ;)

Come on guys, get your thinking caps on and be brilliant!

The Triffids Return

2007-01-03T23:06:00.000+11:00

This is a video from a band that I've loved for years called Hooverphonic. I've been trying for ages to describe this video clip to my friends, and they just end up looking at me weird. Finally, I found it on YouTube, so you can all stop looking at me weird and instead just be freaked out by the wackyness of this clip, and the extraordinary beauty of the song. Enjoy!

Cute Overload

2007-01-03T13:47:00.000+11:00

The biggest thanks ever go out to John for emailing me the link to this, the most gorgeous of sites EVER!!!

Think of the cutest and most "ooooh" inspiring cute things you have ever seen, then multiply it by about a million million and you will not even be getting close to the little animals on this site.

If you want a laugh and a smile go to www.cuteoverload.com. I promise you, the website name doesn't lie!

One more picture for good measure...

Public Service Announcement: Everything You Ever Needed To Know About Zombies

2006-12-28T14:59:00.000+11:00

I, For One, Would Be Concerned

2006-12-17T16:27:00.001+11:00

Welcome To The Apocalypse

2006-12-13T11:58:00.000+11:00

For many people in Victoria, Australia this week it has felt like the end of the world. The fires that have been ravaging the state have been crazy intense, and my thoughts go out to everyone caught in them

I was myself only recently very close to the fires, in Metung. When we drove through Sale it was the most bizarre and surreal experience. Ash was falling from the sky, the sun was red, the light was yellow, and everything seemed in a permanent haze.

Waking up on Tuesday morning we all found burnt debris, leaves, ash etc. coating the house and the vehicles. It had travelled for over 100kilometers to settle on the surrounding areas.

Kudos to the firefighters, many of whom are volunteers and are doing such a great job. Hang in there guys.

For you curious pleasure I now post some photos i've compiled of the fires from around the net. Enjoy (if I can use those words in wake of such a disaster).

Archaeologists Uncover Ancient Race of Skeleton People

2006-12-13T01:34:00.000+11:00

AL JIZAH, EGYPT—A team of British and Egyptian archaeologists made a stunning discovery Monday, unearthing several intact specimens of "skeleton people"—skinless, organless humans who populated the Nile delta region an estimated 6,000 years ago.

An archaeologist examines the intact remains of a spooky "skeleton person."

"This is an incredible find," said Dr. Christian Hutchins, Oxford University archaeologist and head of the dig team. "Imagine: At one time, this entire area was filled with spooky, bony, walking skeletons."

"The implications are staggering," Hutchins continued. "We now know that the skeletons we see in horror films and on Halloween are not mere products of the imagination, but actually lived on Earth."

Standing at the excavation site, a 20-by-20-foot square pit along the Nile River, Hutchins noted key elements of the find. "The skeletons lived in this mud-brick structure, which, based on what we know of these people, was probably haunted," he said. "Although we found crude cooking utensils in the area, as well as evidence of crafts like pottery and weaving, we are inclined to believe that the skeletons' chief activity was jumping out at nearby humans and scaring them. And though we know little of their language and means of communication, it is likely that they said 'boogedy-boogedy' a lot."

Approximately 200 yards west of the excavation site, the archaeologists also found evidence of farming.

"What's puzzling about this," Cambridge University archaeologist Sir Ian Edmund-White said, "is that skeletons would not benefit from harvested crops, as any food taken orally would immediately fall through the hole behind the jaw and down through the rib cage, eventually hitting the ground. Our best guess is that they scared away a group of human farmers, then remained behind to haunt the dwelling. Or perhaps they bartered goods in a nearby city to acquire skeleton accessories, such as chains, coffins and tattered, dirty clothing."

An artist's rendering of what a warrior-skeleton may have looked like.

Continued Edmund-White: "The hole in that theory, however, is that a 1997 excavation of this area which yielded extensive records of local clans and merchants made no mention of even one animated mass of bones coming to town for the purpose of trade. But we are taking great pains to recover as much of the site as possible, while also being extremely careful not to fall victim to some kind of spooky skeleton curse."

As for what led to the extinction of the skeletons, Edmund-White offered a theory.

"Perhaps an Egyptian priest or king broke the curse of the skeletons, either by defeating the head skeleton in combat or by discovering the magic words needed to send their spirits back to Hell," Edmund-White said. "In any case, there is strong evidence that the Power of Greyskull played a significant role in the defeat of the skeleton people."

According to Hutchins, the skeletons bear numerous similarities to humans, leading him to suspect that there may be an evolutionary link between the two species.

"Like humans, these creatures walked upright on two legs and possessed highly developed opposable thumbs," Edmund-White said. "These and many other similarities lend credence to the theory that hundreds of thousands of years ago, human development passed through a skeletal stage. These skeletons may, in fact, be ancestors of us all."

"Any of us could be part skeleton," he added.

Other experts disagreed.

"The evidence of an evolutionary link between humans and skeletons is sparse at best," said Dr. Terrance Schneider of the University of Chicago. "Furthermore, it is downright unscientific to theorize that skeleton life originated in Egypt merely because mummies, another species of monster, are indigenous to the area. Spooky creatures are found all over the world, from the vampires of Transylvania to the headless horsemen of Sleepy Hollow."

Today's Horoscopes

2006-12-04T21:15:00.000+11:00

Aries March 21 - April 19

While others frequently refer to you as a sex machine, the label is sadly based on your cold, almost mechanical execution of the physical act.

Taurus April 20 - May 20

Although doctors will suspect a brain tumor to be behind all the swelling, they won't know for sure until a wider MRI tube is built.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Your correspondence course in applied chemistry will be terminated this week after the violent demise of nearly two dozen mailmen.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

You will finally leave your boyfriend this week after learning that he's been physically and emotionally abusing some other girl on the side.

Leo July 23 - August 22

A head-on collision with a bright red 18-wheeler will all but end this Thursday's game of "I Spy."

Virgo August 23 - September 22

You can cry all you like, but it's not going to bring back the 56-ounce carton of ice cream you just ate.

Libra September 23 - October 23

While alternate-side-of-the-street restrictions may ultimately help, it's probably not the most effective way of dealing with your town's recent wave of curbings.

Scorpio October 24 - November 21

Covered only partially in Vaseline and shrieking nearly coherent obscenities about the Jews, you'll be amazed by the amount of progress you've made since entering therapy.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

The stars strongly sense the presence of cantaloupe, honeydew melon, and possibly even some pineapple in this Tuesday's bowl of fruit salad.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19

You will find yourself siding with Islamic extremists this week after an eco-terrorist organization claims responsibility for several car bombings.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18

Hundreds of miners will lose their lives this week in a series of tragic and unforeseen lung collapses.

Pisces February 19 - March 20

Researchers this week will trace years of unjust and painful suffering among thousands of Americans to a pretty common skin condition.

Just Because It's So Damn Cute!

2006-12-04T10:58:00.000+11:00

Thanks Shane for these gorgeous bunnies!!!

Against My Better Judgement...

2006-11-29T22:02:00.000+11:00

Well, against my better judgment I actually sat down and read Dan Brown's first Robert Langdon novel Angels and Demons. Why, oh why, please God tell my why I decided to put myself through the excruciating torture. It was the most disgusting, disappointing drivel it has ever been my unfortunate decision to read. It was brainless, unbelievable and completely formulaic.

I am not alone in my contempt, hate and disgust for Dan Brown. Here are just some criticisms his writing has received in the past:

The acclaimed author Salman Rushdie called The DaVinci Code "a book so bad it makes bad books look good," and stated that "Even Dan Brown must live. Preferably not write, but live."

Stephen Fry has referred to Brown's writings as "complete loose stool-water" and "arse gravy of the worst kind." In a live chat on 14 June 2006, he clarified, "I just loathe all those book[s] about the Holy Grail and Masons and Catholic conspiracies and all that botty-dribble. I mean, there's so much more that's interesting and exciting in art and in history. It plays to the worst and laziest in humanity, the desire to think the worst of the past and the desire to feel superior to it in some fatuous way."

In his 2005 University of Maine Commencement Address, best-selling author Stephen King put Dan Brown's work and "Jokes for the John" on the same level, calling such literature the "intellectual equivalent of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese." (These are harsh words coming from the man who writes most of his books coked out of his brain! And there was no excuse for IT. Sorry Stephen King.)

The New York Times, while reviewing the movie based on The DaVinci Code, called the book "Dan Brown's best-selling primer on how not to write an English sentence".

So you see, I am most certainly not alone. I had to laugh at the review the San Francisco Chronicle gave the book when it came out though. It read as follows: "A Breathless Real-Time Adventure; exciting, fast-paced, with an unusually high IQ."

I really hope they had a blind, deaf dumb crack team of monkeys at typewriters for a comparison to that statement of IQ. I'm pretty sure I have indoor plants with higher IQ than Dan Brown displayed in that novel.

My joy came however when fellow Llama lovers described Dan Brown as the Anti-Christ and compared The Da Vinci Code film to the travesty that was National Treasure. Check it out here at The Llama Butchers . ehehe, thinking about that film still makes me laugh. MacGuyver returns! He also made a brief comeback in Andgels and Demons, as we were meant to believe that Robert Langdon could survive a fall of kilometers out of the sky, beating an anti-matter explosion, and landing in the Tiber River, holding only a piece of tarp. Yes that's right folks, next time your plane crashes, fear not, as long as you have your trusty tarp! Yet still Robert Langdon comes up short, since we know MacGuyver would have needed nothing but a piece of chewing gum and a paper clip. Suck on that Robert. Your tarp is inferior.

Anyway, the conclusion to my story is simply this: Don't for the love of all that is holy pick up any of Dan Browns books if you wish to keep any semblance of sanity.

Instead, go out on the town for a night of binge drinking, take heaps of drugs and maybe step into an amateur boxing ring and get beaten around the head a few times. I'm pretty sure you'll have more brain cells left after doing that for an evening than reading any of Dan Brown's novels. I challenge you to prove me wrong!

Where did the llamas go?

2006-11-21T14:12:00.000+11:00

Well guys, as you may have noticed (if you use blogger) they have just attempted to upgrade to BETA.

Unfortunately with all the new developments the old template that I designed didn't work anymore, so I've had to use this boring blogger one for the time being until I get around to making a new one. And lets face it, I'm lazy, so it probably won't happen any time soon.

Until then you'll have to deal with this boring blogger one...

The main problem I was having was that it simply wouldn't let anyone post on my blog. The blog itself worked fine, but if you tried to publish a comment it took you back to the comment form with some shitty popup about post-data.

So yeah, here it is. The new and unimproved llama pen.

I want my llamas back... :(

P.S. The colours are going to be pretty fucked up for a little while, since they saved the post colours from my old blog. Bah. Stupid blogger.

Welcome To Totally Lame Things to Put in Your Blog - O - Clock

2006-11-20T18:05:00.000+11:00

Big thanks go out to Megan to introducing me to more totally lame blognesses...Even just the name gives it away. The website is named Girls-Only Blogthings. Honestly, who wants a girls only anything? I hate girls. Unless they're hot. Then they're ok. I like pretty things.

Just kidding, girls aren't so bad one on one. I just hate them in groups. (Yes Ben, you're very clever, it DOES sound dirty :P). I'm pretty sure that there should be some ultra evil sounding collective noun for whatever constitutes a group of women....

So anyway, this girls-only blogthings-thing tells me that I am as follows:

You Are Chocolate Ice Cream

Dramatic. Powerful. Flirty.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Ok, three cheers for you if you can tell me what the hell that means!!! How is chocolate Ice-Cream Dramatic, Powerful or Flirty? I was always under the impression that it was the favourite ice-cream of people who were too uninventive to think of anything else to try, or too boring and picky to stomach anything else. How can you pigeonhole people into the core ice-cream flavours? For intance they didn't say anything about me being fiery - ice cream with a dash of chilli perhaps? Come on people, get inventive. And EXPLAIN YOURSELVES? I still maintain there is nothing even vaguely dramatic, powerful or flirty about chocolate ice-cream; the favourite of the masses.

Too Much Metal For One Hand

2006-11-18T16:39:00.000+11:00

Metal Council Convenes To Discuss 'Metal Hand Sign' Abuse

VATNAJÖKULL GLACIER, ICELAND—In an emergency session Tuesday, members of the Supreme Metal Council strongly condemned the increasing use of the metal hand sign in lay society, claiming that its meaning has become perverted by overuse.

Enlarge Image

Elders of the Supreme Metal Council examine amateur-video evidence of what they are calling "a worrisome trend."

"The metal sign, or 'sign of the goat,' has all but lost its impact as a token of respectful recognition for something truly 'rocking' or 'metal,'" SMC president Terence "Geezer" Butler said. According to Butler, members are upset that their sacred gesture is being used to acknowledge and celebrate "favorable but clearly non-metal events."

"We have all heard the reports of people using it to greet their in-laws, or after starting their lawn mowers with a single pull," Butler said. "But recently it was brought to our attention that someone used the gesture in a Texas convenience store after snagging the last box of carrot cakes. This simply won't do."

Formed in 1972 and comprising 12 of the most revered leaders of the metal community, the council meets annually in its majestic hall atop Vatnajökull, Iceland's largest glacier, to discuss metal affairs. The SMC convened for a special session after Nikki Sixx, Overlord Of Glam Metal Affairs, was sent hard photographic evidence of metal-sign abuse across the nation. Sixx's fellow high priests said they were "shocked," calling it "one of the most serious affronts to metal's integrity since the rise of rap-metal in the late 1990s."

"I remember a time not long ago when the Devil Horns were reserved for only the most righteous of person, deed, or riff," Grand Elder Lemmy Kilmister said. "To see someone throwing the horns to his mate at the launderette because the clothes dryer came to a full stop just as he finished reading his copy of Circus... It breaks my heart."

Nodding in silent agreement were council members Adalwolfa, a curvaceous Frank Frazetta-drawn Teutonic she-warrior magically brought to life by the council, and the spirit of slain Pantera guitarist "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott.

Compounding the problem, Sixx said, is the fact that many people who use the sign are not recognized members of the Metal Roster, the list of true metal acolytes engraved in medieval calligraphy on gleaming pages of steel.

"This man here, who invokes the sign merely to indicate his joy that his microwave popcorn is done: He is not metal," Sixx said. "We have it on good authority that he prefers the music of Tim McGraw and that the magic word of 'Zoso' has never passed his lips."

The council discussed several harsh punishments to deter further metal-sign abuse. Paulo Pinto, bassist for the Brazilian thrash-metal band Sepultura and Overlord Of International Metal Affairs, suggested that the hand of a suspected signer should be immediately cut off. A contingency of death rockers from Gothenburg, Sweden recommended that any sign abuser, or anyone who is not sufficiently metal, should be forced to eat his severed hand while having his eyeballs burned with a superheated metal crucifix, and then be slowly skinned alive.

More charitable members, such as former Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine, suggested that "a helpful list of guidelines could educate others, allowing them to distinguish between metal and non-metal occurrences."

"A lot of people who incorrectly make the sign have traces of metal in their hearts and minds, they just need the proper direction," Mustaine said. "Remember that many are outcasts and losers. To punish them further is to destroy the future of metal."

Until the council decides what course of action to adopt, Butler said he believes that a simple rule of thumb will help reduce the incidence of metal-sign abuse.

"If your head is neither banging nor thrashing, you should not be throwing the sign," Butler said. "It's that simple."

Yet, in a later interview in his private, skull-bedecked chambers, Butler expressed the concern that the problem has grown too widespread for even the mighty SMC to solve. He said he worries that metal standards have been on the decline for so long that few have any clear idea as to what is metal and what is not. The SMC has experienced deep ideological rifts in the past that have affected its ability to make strong decisions, most notably during the lengthy trial and eventual sentencing of Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich, who was indicted in 2004 on charges of cutting his hair, pussing out on Napster, and contributing to the original motion-picture soundtrack of Mission: Impossible 2.

"To this day, there are many on the council who deeply resent the presence of [Poison guitarist] C.C. DeVille,'" Butler said. "In fact, so do I. Despite our differences, the council still remains the sole arbitrator of all things metal. We must get through to those who wantonly abuse the sign of the goat. They must be informed that watering down the sign's meaning will result in serious consequences."

Should the abuse continue, Butler said the council "will defer the matter to Satan."

*****

Thanks to The Onion for this wonderful, wonderful article. If you get the chance, check it out. It's very, very funny!!

Hope Is Emo

2006-11-06T12:39:00.000+11:00

It's amazing how much the meaning of a word can change, to take a page from Hope's book.

I'm one of the original Emo's. Yes, you may all think right now of a sad girl with black hair, dark make up, tight jeans and a black tee-shirt who may on occassion supplement the outfit with tacky jewellery and gaudy, flourescent colours intermingled with the black; with this in mind your thoughts would be erroneous.

We of the original Emo generation are simply vest wearing nerdy white kids. We did wear the stove-pipes, but we introduced the fashion of the diamond vest and the horn rimmed glasses. That's right folks, for the last two years you have been riding on the Emo coat tails for all your fashion needs.

These new Emo kids are just goths who couldn't go the whole hog and stole our genre. lol. But seriously, I'm not bitter at all. I still love my Emo music on occassion, and I still wear my vests, and if stovepipe jeans make me Emo then so be it, because you know what? My legs look fantastic in them :P

All that said, a huge thanks goes out to Nick for introducing me to this absolute Gem. Poor hope. I hope my life is never ever this dismal or, you know, "I could just go swim in fromeldahide with the squid."

Visit here, to see all the glorious Hope Is Emo Episodes. I guarantee, they will make you laugh...or cry....or, you know, whatever...

Reliving The Music...

2006-11-01T02:36:00.000+11:00

People don't give their old CD's enough of a spin any more. I have just rediscovered my love for bands that people hardly ever hear of any more but who have made some absolutely stunning music.
The first of these bands for me recently has been The Beta Band.

The Beta Band formed in 1996 around Edinburgh musicians Steve Mason (vocals, guitar) and Gordon Anderson. Their sound is very diverse. They mix a perfect blend of bubblegum pop, rap, and just good old rock with some ambient electronic sounds and instrumental interludes. It's a very raw sound, and rather whistful, but it's very effective.

What originally got me hooked on these guys was my favourite film High Fidelity. Their best album is without a doubt The Three EP's which is just what the title suggests, the coming together of their 3 ep's onto one disk. The Song Dry The Rain will blow your mind.

The second band that's on high roation on my CD player at the moment is another band from the 90s named Primitive Radio Gods. Nothing in particular got me hooked on this band other than the fact that they wrote a brilliant, brilliant song that you all have probably heard at some point name Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand from their debut album Rocket. Along with the song Spawn by the band George I think it's one of the most perfect songs ever written, and the rest of their music is certainly not disappointing, although perhaps a little more rocky than that particular song.

Not so happily, most of their commercial success relied solely on the success of Phone Booth in the Jim Carrey film The Cable Guy, but if you get the chance listen to some of their other stuff it is well worth it. They use a lot of samples, and use them effectively. Their sound is strong without being overwhelming, and for a change it's actually nice to listen to music that makes you feel good. This album (Rocket) really will. While many of the songs are heartfelt, the mood surrounding it is overwhelmingly good.

The Honourary 'What Were They Thinking?' Awards

2006-10-25T21:49:00.000+10:00

Attn: Entrepreneurs

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called 'Who represents' where you can find the name of the
agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is:
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and views:
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:
www.penisland.net
(What really gets me personally about this one is that they didn't click after they realised that the name www.penisland.COM was already taken...)

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder:
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company:
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And then we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New
South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always:
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website:
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their
whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website:
www.gotahoe.com

More funny business stories can be found here

Could we all be so unlucky?

2006-10-25T15:06:00.000+10:00

Tell me this article isn't the most fucked up thing you've ever heard!!!

Woman forsakes her beautiful face

(China Daily)
Updated: 2006-10-24 08:56

A young woman from Chongqing sought plastic surgery to make her face less attractive recently, after being crossed in love.

The 23-year-old woman's sweetheart left her weeks ago to stay with another woman. Although the two had been in love for six years, her ex-boyfriend feared that her too-beautiful face might lure many other men and thus he didn't feel safe staying with her.

She came to hate all men after being courted by many others, prompting her desire for the surgery. But the doctors refused to co-operate, saying she had a mental disorder and needed to seek help from psychotherapists.

Chongqing Times

A Pirates Life For Me

2006-10-17T09:59:00.000+10:00

Avast, me hearties! This here be a piratey entry to introduce ye all to the wonderful world of the swashbuckling mains...

Thanks and praise be to Nick to sending me the link to this wonderful, wonderful website. The linkage be here. Let it be known from hence forth that this jewel is GREAT like the SEA. Once you watch it you'll know what I mean. And you'd better, or I shall run you through like the scurvy dog ye are!

I have also rediscovered the joy that is Puzzle Pirates. It's an online game where you are a pirate and you get to pillage, update your character, and mainly just pirate to your hearts content. Kasi and I are roomates and I've just bought my own sloop, so all is fine and dandy. My character's name is Faeorchid, so if you find yourself on the Cobalt ocean after downloading the client here add me to your hearty list and we shall pillage together. I may even invite you to join my crew.

Hehe, I am so nerdy, but I love it. What can I say. It brings me great joy.....Great, LIKE THE SEA!

Heil Kitler!

2006-10-08T14:22:00.001+10:00

A huge thanks goes out to John for the heads up on the following Website.

Does your cat look like Adolf Hitler? Do you wake up in a cold sweat every night wondering if he's going to up and invade Poland? Does he keep putting his right paw in the air while making a noise that sounds suspiciously like "Sieg Miaow"? If so, this is the website for you.

And that website is www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com. A must visit for all you kitty lovers out there. I laughed for a full 10 minutes. You'd better laugh too at the sheer cuteness.

Penny Arcade is back with the funnies!

2006-10-02T17:23:00.000+10:00

Check out this weeks Penny Arcade. They've come up with a corker!

The image here is just way too small to read, so you'll have to go to the source. :P

Or you know...you could just click on it so it's bigger...

It will only be there for a few more days, so if you're keen check out the archives and I'm sure that they'll keep you entertained. Happy browsing.

UnNews: North Korea invents the wheel, citizens rejoice.

2006-10-02T09:50:00.000+10:00

Holy Crap, will you look at that wheel!

PYONGYANG, North Korea-- The invention of the wheel by Glorious Leader Kim Jong-Il has sparked nationwide celebrations in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.
"I wish those capitalist pigs could see us now," said Glorious Leader Kim Jong-Il while proudly staring at the crude, roundish, wheel-like thing before him. "Do you have any idea what this means for our great nation? Certainly we can use this contraption to increase the efficiency of the hundreds of already efficient steel mills and power plants we have all around this Glorious country!"

In every major city, government-commissioned military parades were held with mandatory public executions of traitors being performed at each one. Said traitor Rang Hui as the executioner placed his neck into a noose, "I guess I'm kind of sad that they're killing me so soon, but at least I know our great people will be able to move faster then they ever have before. With any luck, electric light will make its way here by the end of the decade. Then the People's Revolution can really begin!"

Stated Korean weapons expert Ling Song, "We are very excited about this new invention. We believe that using this 'wheel' will allow us to drive our tanks much more efficiently, as the current idea of setting them on cinder blocks has severely hampered our war efforts. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but some brilliant young minds in the department have even considered putting wheels on our nuc--" At this, a stray bullet fired from a capitalist pig-dog hit Song in the head, preventing him from finishing his Glorious statement. With any luck, Glorious Leader will repay this pig-dog with the power of the Glorious North Korean wheel.
"Our freedom has been taken to new heights!" wildly screamed Glorious Leader Kim Jong-Il as the first ever prototype of the wheel rolled down a hill into the DMZ. "You see those soldiers on that wall? They're walking! When we adapt these to our military vehicles, we'll run them and the rest of the imperialist Yankees over!"

"Bullshit," said Donald Rumsfeld at a press conference. "We used to think Iraq was capable of producing and using wheels, but we really fucked that one up. North Korea does not have the wheel. This is obviously just another stupid morale-boosting scheme that Kim Jong-Il has devised to keep his people happy."

When asked how he felt about this critical military development, George W Bush replied with, "The American people will unite together to face this new threat. We shall not bow down before the Axle of Evil and its many, many wheels. We will not be brought down. We will not be defeated. The Department of Homeland Security will be raising the Communist invasion threat level to crimson red and all objects more round than an octagon will be banned from entering the country."

Spies report that research to build iron weapons is currently underway in The Democratic People's Republic of Korea, but such reports should be taken with a grain of salt. Until recently it was thought that North Korea had a vast supply of sharp sticks, but UN Weapons Inspectors have found that North Korean sticks are, to quote the report, "Not really that sharp at all."

For this and other stories visit Uncyclopedia! Your one stop for all your UnNews needs.

Rock This Bitch!!

2006-09-23T00:21:00.000+10:00

Ben Folds has captured my heart yet again!

I go through periods where my Ben Folds admiration peters off. His albums were on high rotation at my house for a little while, but in general his songs are very hit and miss. I love the songs of his that I like, but am completely indifferent to those of his I don't.

I've just come back from his Melbourne gig with the MSO, and that has completely changed my view on all the songs I thought I hated. Literally, any Ben Folds song that I previously didn't like he put in the playlist for the evening, but with the orchestra, and his enthusiasm it gave those songs a brand new lease on life. He was passionate, fun, quirky, and in all ways the most talented piano player I've ever seen - for his style of music at least.

If you get a chance to see this gig, if he hasn't come to your city yet (and there's an extra matinee show announced for Melbourne on Sunday, as well as the performance on Saturday for those of you interested) do! It is one of the most amasing things you will ever see, and completely unlike any 'rock' concert you have ever been to.

Ben Folds, you are a god!

Nacho Libre

2006-09-15T09:26:00.000+10:00

This is of course Jack Black's new film. I saw it last night with a few friends, and I have to say it left me vaguely confused. I didnt' know quite how I felt about it when it ended. I couldn't even decide if it was funny or just plain silly.

The basic premise is this: The story revolves around Nacho (Black), an orphan with no skills, who is a cook — and a bad one — at the monastery where he was raised.

Nacho wants to earn money to buy better ingredients so he can cook better meals for the orphans and priests — as well as the newly arrived Sister Encarnacion.

Nacho decides to become a wrestler.

The humour in it is very juvenile, and Jack Black actually seems like he's holding back. There are moments when he starts singing where the true Jack Black comedy shines through, and at those points I was in stitches; for the rest of the film however I laughed mainly in the hope that there was going to be more. It has nothing of the black, mature, yet deprecating wit that made Napoleon Dynamite such a great hit, and this film only goes to show that cult classics happen by accident, and can't be made. Instead of playing on cliches and stereotypes it simply reinforced them, but in a juvenile and predicatble way. The cinematography didn't hang together, and the plot wasn't engaging enough to keep you interested. This is one of the only films where I got half way through and actually thought that I'd like it to end.

All in all a disappointing film, and I would only give it 2 out of 5 stars.

The Sound Adults Can't Hear

2006-09-13T21:48:00.000+10:00

The 'Mosquito' sonic deterrent device was installed by the Wyvern Theatre in Swindon, England in an attempt to stop groups of up to 100 youngsters from gathering around Theatre Square.

It was named the 'Mosquito' because the sound resembles that of a buzzing insect. And it works by emitting a harmless ultra sonic tone that generally can only be heard by people aged 25 and under. In trials, it has proven that the longer someone is exposed to the sound, the more annoying it becomes.

School children have now turned it to their own ends by making it into a ringtone that can be used in class, and can't be heard by their teachers. Damn the man!! :D

As we get older, we lose the ability to hear sounds within a higher frequency. The ringtone is around the 17khz mark, and most ears over 25 can no longer hear anything over 13khz; although, like any rule there are exceptions.

Listen to the sound here and let me know if you can hear it.

The Hungarian Suicide Song

2006-09-12T09:53:00.000+10:00

Most of you may not know that my favourite song in the world is a song called "Gloomy Sunday" by the Hungarian composer Rezso Seress. Forget the fact that it's a damn depressing song, and you'll realise just how hauntingly beautiful it is. There are dozens of versions of it, and each remains individual yet beautiful. One of the prettiest is the version by Sarah Brightman on her record La Luna. Download it if you get a chance. Another really good one is Billie Holiday's. For those of you who have seen the film "The Man Who Cried" with Christina Ricci and Johnny Depp you might recognise it as being the song she sings on the ship at the end.

It is only later that I learned of the urban legend surrounding the song itself. It's largely untrue (although many British and American radio stations did refuse to give it air time because of how depressing it was) but it makes a damn good story anyway.

g l o o m y s u n d a y

o v e r t u r e t o d e a t h

D. P. MacDonald

In February of 1936, Budapest Police were investigating the suicide of a local shoemaker, Joseph Keller. The investigation showed that Keller had left a suicide note in which he quoted the lyrics of a recent popular song. The song was "Gloomy Sunday".
The fact that a man chose to quote the lyrics of a little-known song may not seem very strange. However, the fact that over the years, this song has been directly associated with the deaths of over 100 people is quite strange indeed.

Following the event described above, seventeen additional people took their own lives. In each case, "Gloomy Sunday" was closely connected with the circumstances surrounding the suicide.
Among those included are two people who shot themselves while listening to a gypsy band playing the tune. Several others drowned themselves in the Danube while clutching the sheet music of "Gloomy Sunday". One gentleman reportedly walked out of a nightclub and blew his brains out after having requested the band to play "The Suicide Song".

The adverse effect of "Gloomy Sunday" was becoming so great that the Budapest Police thought it best to ban the song. However, the suppression of "Gloomy Sunday" was not restricted to Budapest, nor was its seemingly evil effects. In Berlin, a young shopkeeper hung herself. Beneath her feet lay a copy of "Gloomy Sunday".
In New York, a pretty typist gassed herself leaving a request that "Gloomy Sunday" should be played at her funeral.

Many claim that broken romances are the true causes of these suicides. However, this is debatable. For instance, one man jumped to his death from a seventh story window followed by the wailing strains of "Gloomy Sunday". He was over 80 years old! In contrast to this, a 14 year old girl drowned herself while clutching a copy of "The Suicide Song".
Perhaps the strongest of all was the case of an errand boy in Rome, who, having heard a beggar humming the tune, parked his cycle, walked over to the beggar, gave him all his money, and then sought his death in the waters beneath a nearby bridge.

As the death toll climbed, the B.B.C. felt it necesssary to suppress the song, and the U.S. network quickly followed suit. A French station even brought in psychic experts to study the effects of "Gloomy Sunday" but had no effect on the ever climbing death rate.
The composer, Rezsô Seress, who in 1933 wrote "Gloomy Sunday", was as bewildered as the rest of the world. Although he wrote the song on the breakup of his own romance, he never dreamed of the results which would follow. However, as fate would have it, not even Seress could escape the song's strange effects.

At first he had a difficult time getting someone to publish the song. Quite frankly, no one would have anything to do with it. As one publisher stated, "It is not that the song is sad, there is a sort of terrible compelling despair about it. I don't think it would do anyone any good to hear a song like that."

However, time passed and Seress finally got his song published. Within the week "Gloomy Sunday" became a best seller, Seress contacted his ex-lover and made plans for a reunion. The next day the girl took her life through the use of poison. By her side was a piece of paper containing two words: "Gloomy Sunday".

When questioned as to just what he had in mind when he wrote the song, Seress replied, "I stand in the midst of this deadly success as an accused man. This fatal fame hurts me. I cried all of the disappointments of my heart into this song, and it seems that others with feelings like mine have found their own hurt in it."

As the months went by and the excitement died down, the B.B.C. agreed to release "Gloomy Sunday", but only as an instrumental. This version was later made into a record. A London policemen heard this particular arrangement being repeatedly and endlessly played in a nearby apartment. He considered this to be worthy of investigation. Upon entering the apartment, he found an automatic phonograph playing and replaying the tune. Next to it was a woman, dead from an overdose of barbiturates. It was this incident which prompted the B.B.C. to reimpose its ban on the song. To this day it has not been lifted.

As a final note, "Gloomy Sunday" was introduced to the U.S. market in 1936. However, getting it recorded was no easy matter. Bob Allen and members of the Hal Kemp band were the first to record "Gloomy Sunday" in the U.S. They were noticeably affected while making the record. It took twenty-one takes to turn out a record good enough to publish. Few people who have ever listened to the melody and lyrics fail to confess that it has a horribly depressing effect.
Finally, it is not surprising to note that Rezsô Seress, the composer of "Gloomy Sunday", committed suicide in 1968.

This article was stolen by http://www.phespirit.info/gloomysunday/article_01.htm from the 'JUSTIN AND ANJI' web site; it was originally published to augment their now defunct 'Gloomy Sunday Radio Show'.
In the introduction they say:

This message was forwarded to us by a visitor to our web site. There is some good historical information on the song intermixed with some information of more dubious repute. The accounts begin to take on the feel of a satiric e-mail chain letter after a while, but then, sometimes truth is indeed stranger than fiction. The story does read a little bit like the script of a segment from Strange Universe! So take this with a grain of salt ..... The text was [supposedly] quoted from the Cincinatti Journal of Ceremonial Magick, vol I, no I, printed in 1976.

Just a quick introduction to music that rocks!

2006-09-11T16:45:00.000+10:00

It has recently come to my attention that there is a lot of music out there that people are unaware of. It may seem pretty straight forward; especially to a lot of my close friends, since we generally share CDs anyway, but for the rest of the world, I've decided to compile a short list of bands that are on high rotation at my place at the moment.

First off The Butterfly Effect. Why are they first? Because they rock. And I mean, seriously rock!

The Butterfly Effect are a hard rock band from Brisbane, Australia. The members of the band are: Clint Boge, vocals; Ben Hall, drums; Glenn Esmond, bass; and Kurt Goedhart, guitar.

Discography:

The Butterfly Effect EP (2001)
Begins Here (2003) #23 Australia
Imago (2006) #2 Australia

TV on the Radio is a New York City

avant-garde indie-rock vocal band formed in 2001 whose music spans genres as diverse as free jazz, a cappella/doo-wop, psychedelia, trip-hop and electro.

If you look at some of my previous posts you'll see that I went to their gig. Their music is hauntingly beautiful at the same ti me as being powerful. I hightly recommend them.

The core members are Tunde Adebimpe (vocals/loops), Kyp Malone (vocals/guitars/loops) and David Andrew Sitek (music/guitars/keys/loops) Jaleel Bunton (drums) & Gerard Smith (bass). They record and play live with their circle of friends, including Katrina Ford of the band Celebration (vocals), Martin Perna (flute/bari & alto sax) of Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra and Nick Zinner (guitar) of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Discography:

OK Calculator [Demo LP] (2002), self-released
Young Liars [EP] (2003), Touch and Go Records
Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes [LP] (2004), Touch and Go Records
New Health Rock [EP] (2004), Touch and Go Records
Return to Cookie Mountain [LP] (2006), Interscope

Third Eye Blind (frequently abbreviated 3eb) is an alternative rock band formed in the early 1990s and my favourite band of all time. Most of you will know their single Semi Charmed Kind of Life and will have thought it was a bit of fun, but don't let that fool you. That is not one of their best songs, so I challenge you all to have a listen and see what you think. Blue has the best individual songs, but Out of the Vein is a better album as a whole. The original members were Stephan Jenkins (singer, song writer, electric guitar) - and ex boyfriend to Charlize Theron for those of you interested - , Kevin Cadogan (guitar), Brad Hargreaves (drums), and Arion Salazar (bass guitar). The band's line-up changed shortly after the release of their second album Blue — at which point guitarist Kevin Cadogan was released from the band under circumstances that still elicit controversy among fans. Third Eye Blind's current line-up is Stephan Jenkins (vocals, electric guitar), Arion Salazar (bass guitar), Brad Hargreaves (drums), and Tony Fredianelli (electric guitar). For a time the band also featured future Smash Mouth drummer Michael Urbano.
Discography:

Third Eye Blind (1997)
Blue (1999)
Out of the Vein (2003)
A Collection (2006)

Joydrop was a Canadian alternative rock band in the late 1990s and early 2000s from Hamilton Ontario. The band consisted of vocalist Tara Slone, guitarist Thomas Payne, bassist Tom McKay and drummer Tony Rabalao.

The band released two CDs, and had notable chart hits in Canada with "Beautiful" and "Sometimes Wanna Die".

I don't know how well known they are, but I only heard of them through a friend, so if you get a chance, listen in. Especially to their album Metasexual.

Discography:

Metasexual (1999)
Viberate (2001)

Nightmares on Wax is DJ and musician George Evelyn (born c. 1970), also known as DJ EASE (Experimental Sample Expert), from Leeds, UK. The musical style is a combination of electronic sounds and hip hop beats, often regarded as "Chill Out". Nightmares on Wax's music is released on Warp Records.

Evelyn got his start in the music industry through an interest in hip hop and on joining a local breakdancing crew, he met Kevin Harper and together they released their first album in 1991, a techno-edged record entitled A Word Of Science: The First And Final Chapter.

Evelyn went on to run The Headz Club in Leeds, and started his own record label, Poverty records. The next Nightmares on Wax release was not until Smoker's Delight in 1995, by which time Harper had left to pursue a career in DJing, reducing the band to a solo project. Evelyn began to record more of his trademark chill-out tracks, and brought in a variety of musicians and vocalists, giving the music a greater variety as well as allowing him to take the band out on tour.

In 2000, Evelyn assisted in the comeback of hip hop pioneers De La Soul, when they appeared on the EP The Sound of N.O.W.. Although De La Soul have maintained a steady, loyal and strong fanbase since the beginning of their career some have argued that Evelyn's EP helped push them back into the public eye.

In 2005, Evelyn started his own independent record label, Wax On.

Discography:

A Word Of Science: The First And Final Chapter (September 16, 1991)
Smokers Delight (September 25, 1995)
Carboot Soul (December 4, 1999)
DJ-Kicks: Nightmares on Wax (October 2, 2000) (DJ mix album)
Mind Elevation (September 2, 2002)
Late Night Tales: Nightmares on Wax (May 12, 2003) (DJ mix album)
In a Space Outta Sound (March 7, 2006)

In Loving Memory of Colin Thiele

2006-09-07T19:52:00.000+10:00

Well, everyone in the world knows that Steve Irwin died a few days ago. The media has turned it into as big a spectacle as he was during his lifetime. While I send my condolences to his family, I really, truly believe that the loss of Steve Irwin pales next to the veritably unmentioned man who also died on the same day...

Colin Milton Thiele AC (16 November 1920 – 4 September 2006) was an Australian author and educator. He was renowned for his award-winning children's fiction, most notably for the novel Storm Boy.

Thiele was born in Eudunda in South Australia. He was educated at several country schools including Kapunda High School before studying at the University of Adelaide. He served with the Australian Army and RAAF attaining the rank of corporal during World War II and later taught in high schools and colleges.

Thiele published almost 80 books, which often described life in rural Australia, particularly the Coorong region of coastal South Australia. Several of his books have been made into movies, including Sun on the Stubble, The Fire in the Stone, Blue Fin and Storm Boy.

In 1977 he was made a Companion of the Order of Australia (the highest level of the award) for his services to literature and education.

Thiele suffered from severe arthritis and left South Australia to settle in warmer conditions near Dayboro, Queensland, where he spent his last years. Thiele died from heart failure in a Brisbane hospital on 4 September 2006 , aged 85.

He was survived by his wife, Rhonda, two children, seven grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

9/11 Conspiracy?

2006-09-05T22:04:00.000+10:00

Anyone who doesn't know the website http://maddox.xmission.com should. He is one of the funniest guys out there. He basically pulls fun at every member of society without bias, with the precision of a surgeon.

I really appreciated his newest article on the supposed 9/11 conspiracy that was told to us by the "documentary" Loose Change.

Check out what Maddox had to say about it here. I promise it will be worth the read.

Two things that must be checked out!

2006-08-30T16:22:00.000+10:00

First of all here is the official introduction of Mike and Panky.

The Brain child of my best friend Kasi Albert and her father Des, Mike and Panky will make you laugh, cry, hang your head in shame. It's a fun and exciting adventure for all the family with a surprise ending that will leave you breathless and can be found here!

Other things to check out are this video because it rocks!!!

Alpaca's are the new Llama

2006-08-28T17:43:00.000+10:00

While my love for Llamas will never die, I just thought this little guy was too cute for words...Although nothing will ever replace the Llama, this Alpaca comes pretty damn close.

Read the article about him here

Fun for all the Family!

2006-08-19T01:04:00.000+10:00

Thanks Lewie, you rock!

A Haven in the Desert of Imagination

2006-08-14T13:45:00.000+10:00

Dromkeen house is an old homestead in the environs of Riddells Creek. The drive is long, and as a child often monotonous but the reward at the end makes the almost 2 hour trip from the city centre of Melbourne well worth it. Upon arrival the child is greeted with a cornucopia of literary gems set to keep him/her entertained and engaged for hours. The sprawling gardens are filled with bronze statues of many of the best characters from Australian children's literature, often designed by the most prominent illustrators. The house is well kept and beautiful, the exhibits change bi-annually and more often than not you can meet and greet your favourite author or illustrator. Many a happy memory of my childhood comes from Dromkeen, and I owe much of my love for reading and writing from the wonderful staff who sought only to increase my love and knowledge of literature. The museum is primarily targeted toward children, but as an adult I still glean as much enjoyment from my visits there. The exhibitions are informative without being childish and the gardens can simply be appreciated for their beauty and life.

Dromkeen was the home of Judge Arthur Chomley who presided over the County and Supreme Court's of Australia at the turn of the century. It was built as his country residence in 1889 and named 'Dromkeen' after his mother's home in Tipperary, Ireland. In 1973 it was purchased by the owners of an educational bookshop, Joyce and Court Oldmeadow. They used the house as storage for their freight, and in time built up the Dromkeen collection and the house became a haven for Australian children's literature. They preserved many rare children's manuscripts, including the preservation of many pieces that were considered lost. Throughout the maintenance of this collection it was always open for public display as they were passionate about inspiring children to the study and appreciation of literature. The museum officially opened in October 1974.

Court Oldmeadow passed away in 1977, whereupon Scholastic Books assumed the responsibility of maintaining the collection, although Joyce remained director until her own death in 2001. After her death the Oldmeadow's daughter Kaye Keck acceded the position. Scholastic purchased Dromkeen in 1985 to guarantee the collection a permanent home, despite this however the homestead is family run and lives up to it's mission “To build, preserve and share [their] heritage of Australian Children’s literature, enabling children, families and professionals to experience a sense of wonder, enjoyment and learning.”

Each year the Dromkeen collection plays host to thousands of children and adults who come through it's doors. Not only is it a fantastic place for a family outing, but the house also plays host to a number of educational activities. One of these includes the Premiers Reading Challenge documented in The Age on June 26, 2005. Over 115,000 children were registered to take part, where they were challenged to read 12 books, 10 from the official list on the website. Those who reached the target by the appointed time received a signed certificate from the premier.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics survey of Participation in Education makes it very clear that over the last few decades literacy and numeracy skills have been remaining steady. This shows us that schools are indeed teaching children the skills they need to read and write. Where the short-comings appear is very likely going to be a lack of encouragement from the home. When looking at the data however there is a clear indication that numeracy skills are far higher for children than are literary skills. Reading is also higher than the ability to write, but still far below numeracy skills.

Perhaps this is due to the fact that children are no longer instilled in a love of reading by their parents. Books no longer hold any charm or mystery. This renders a place like Dromkeen so important. It introduces children to the dynamic world of books, reading, art, culture. They are in an environment with other children, where they can discover and learn together. It is a place where the child doesn't even need to love books; that love can come later. The grounds are exciting, dynamic, where the characters of your favourite Australian children's stories come to life and you can touch and feel them.

Dromkeen is a place with an avid 'do-touch' policy. Children are encouraged to participate, and the Dromkeen Book Bag provides children with the ability to flick through and examine works by prominent authors and illustrators. The homestead is often visited by the authors and illustrators themselves, and book signings and talks provide the children with a valuable insight into the process of creating literature, and what the works mean to the creator. They hold a
number of holiday activities during the year where children can workshop their drawing and
writing skills. They paint landscapes in the gardens, learn to sculpt and even have writing classes with their favourite writers. The exhibits are ever-changing and dynamic. There is even a club for long-time visitors to the house, called the Dromkeen Dragon's, which a child can be part of until their 12^th birthday.

I myself was a member of the Dromkeen Dragon's for about 3 years. When I joined the exhibition inside the house was a showing of the works of Robert Ingpen. It showed the development of his work from inception to completion. There were sketches, partially coloured images, fully developed books, and artwork that had never been published. Christmas parties

with the Dromkeen Dragon's always ended in gifts of books. They were never 'regular' book like Goosebumps or The Baby Sitter's Club but 'real' books. To a child's mind there are books that are and aren't real, and Dromkeen gave me real ones. When I turned 12 and could no longer be a member I was given a gift of a signed first edition copy of William Mayne's Earthfasts at my farewell. It is a book that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Over my years visiting Dromkeen I met many of my favourite children's authors, including Graeme Base (who incidentally designed the Dromkeen Dragons membership badge) and Shirley Barber. Both these meetings were some of the most valuable experiences I've ever had. They supported reading, and were encouraging to those children who expressed a wish to write when they grew older. It was always so fascinating to hear about the creative processes involved in the creation of a work of children's fiction and how they coped not only with their initial rejections, but the ensuing popularity. They put the displays in context. While the exhibitions are already very informative with a great narrative flow showing a works development, putting the exhibitions in conjunction with a real-life author who could personally tell you what was involved brought an added depth of meaning to the exhibitions themselves which is important for children. The exhibitions are designed however to have an appeal to all age groups. They are informative without being childish, and can be viewed as objects of interest in their own right.

The exhibitions were not the only fascinating thing to see at Dromkeen however. The sprawling gardens are home to the Heritage Trail which is made of a series of fourteen picture boards featuring an illustration from a children's picture book. The boards highlight Australian history through the artwork of books by authors such as Roland Harvey, John Nicholson, Desmond Digby, Robert Roennfeldt, Rachel Tonkin, Arone Raymond Meeks, Jimmy Pike, Carolyn Windy, Bronwyn Bancroft, Sally Rippin, Lindsay Muir, Peter Goudthorpe, Steven Willman, Patricia Mullins and Shaun Tan. The boards depict indigenous stories, stories of Australian discovery and exploration as well as significant historical events, multiculturalism and environmental issues, showing that children's literature is so much more than just entertainment. It is in and of itself an education, teaching children about important issues as well as their history.

The garden's are filled with bronze statues of famous characters from Australian literature. The first sculpture to be installed was The Key. It was designed by Robert Ingpen, and was envisaged to be symbolic of Dromkeen opening the door to the world of children's literature. Other sculptures include Possum Magic from Mem Fox and Julie Vivas book of the same name, The Bunyip of Berkley's Creek from Jenny Wagner and Ron Brooks, Mr Lizard and Gumnut Baby from May Gibbs' Snugglepot and Cuddlepie as well as A B ('Banjo') Patterson's The Man From Ironbark. The sculptures can be touched and climbed on, and give a reality to the characters that illustration cannot give. They are completely true to the designs of the illustrators and provide endless joy to the visitors who often read and picnic in view of them.

But of course, who could forget the Joyce and Court Oldmeadow Memorial Sculpture directly in

front of the house. It was unveiled in 2003 and holds the plaque:

“Visitors will be captivated by characters from Australian Children’s stories including Koala Lou, Wombat Divine, Shy the Platypus and the inspiring dragon representing the children’s Dromkeen Dragons club.

Do visit and do touch!”

which truly exemplifies the policy of Dromkeen; a dynamic and exciting experience to enable children to rediscover a love of, and joy in children's literature. This is a policy that Dromkeen lives up to. It is a place where adults and children alike can rediscover their love of learning and joy in the creation of Australian children's literature.

Attack of the Vampire Watermelons!

2006-08-08T08:55:00.000+10:00

Ahh, Wikipedia, the fount of all knowledge....

Some of you may know that I am currently writing my honours thesis in history. My topic is basically how the media affects (or is it effects, I can never remember...pretty sure it's affects...) the development of folklore and mythology; my case study most notably being Vampire Mythology.

While trying to find out info on the beliefs of the general public, I thought the best place to start would be Wikipedia; where I came across the best folklore known to human kind...Vampire Watermelons...and pumpkins.

The legend stems from the Balkans and was first documented by the ethnlologist Tatomir Vukanovic. Try saying that 10 times fast!

The belief in vampire fruit pretty much states that any inanimate object left outside on the night of a full moon will become a vampire. Watermelons and pumpkins left more than 10 days after Christmas will become vampires. They roll around on the ground and pester the living, although they tend not to be particularly frightening since they dont' have teeth.

The main indication of the vampiric transformation of fruit is a drop of blood that appears on its skin, which then develops into veins...This is very interesting because once again, it shows a need for humanity to try to understand the process of decay in a pre-scientific world. That is basically what vampire mythology in and of itself is all about.

For those of you interested in reading the wikipedia entry for yourself here is the link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_watermelon

Joy to the randomness!!

Clarification for the Brain Surgeons

2006-08-06T22:02:00.000+10:00

If you're wondering what this is regarding read the previous post, and it's comments.

Left is an early image of the Mona Lisa. If you look SHE HAS COLUMNS. They are PAINTED columns. The Mona Lisa that is famous has them REMOVED so that you can match up the borders if you had the inclination to do so.

That is the REASON.

I really don't think I can make it much clearer than that. Seriously, it's not that complicated.

The Mona Lisa: Biggest Coverup in Human History

2006-08-04T22:45:00.000+10:00

I swear to God, if I have to hear one more brain dead loser speaking about art as if they have any idea what they're talking about. Seriously, Dan Brown has a lot to answer for. All of a sudden everyone's an expert.

Let me set the record straight. The Mona Lisa is indeed part of one of the biggest cover ups in history. But, hear me out before you bite my head off. That cover up consists simply of this: there is absolutely no mystery surronding the Mona Lisa.

That's right folks. None. We know exactly who she was, and why she was painted. We also know what that little smile is all about. None of this DaVinci in drag nonsense, or hidden cryptic clues pertaining to some masonic cult...

The truth is simply this: the title Mona Lisa stemmed from the artist's biographer Giorgio Vasari, who wrote 31 years after the death of Leonardo. The painting is a portrait of Lisa, the wife of wealthy Florentine businessman Francesco del Giocondo. Mona is a contraction of the word 'madonna' meaning 'my lady' or the English equivalent of 'Madam' thus meaning literally 'Madam Lisa.' The Italians call her La Gioconda, which is the feminine form of Giocondo, the man to whom the lady in question was married. The word 'Giocondo' can also mean light hearted (a word which was adapted to be 'jocund' in English), thus the feminine form 'Gioconda' means literally 'light hearted woman.' This gives the title it's double meaning, due to her so-called mysterious smile.

In his same biography Vasari states that the reason for the smile was that during the sitting a small band was playing, and caused the lady to smile in reality, which DaVinci consequently put into his painting. Wow, amazing mystery!

The mystery about why The Mona Lisa's background isn't level can also be answered quite easily. Take a print of the Mona Lisa and roll it so the sides of the painting match up as if you're making a paper telescope. When you see the new edge that is created, you'll also notice it matches up perfectly. The painting was originally enclosed by painted pillars, but DaVinci asked that they be removed for this very reason. A similar technique is used today to prevent monetary fraud, match up the edges of a $5 note and you'll see what I mean.

So there you have it guys. The truth. That's the big cover up. There is nothing slightly mysterious about her. She is simply an astounding piece of art and should simply be admired as such.

Why do I like House?

2006-08-03T14:34:00.000+10:00

No seriously, tell me. Why do I like it?

Watching it last night just made me realise that there is no reason for it. There is not a single likeable character in the entir show except for Kutti (or however the hell it's spelt). House is an arrogant prick (although I find that apealing), Foreman is just a general pain in the ass...he thinks he's right but is inevitably wrong every time and yet doesn't learn that he's a completely braindead dick...Cameron is just a whiny little girl who has overly Christian morality which really just gets her into trouble. Yes, she's vaguely hot, but the more you see of her personality the more you realise that there's nothing there....and could she and Chase just have sex already? I know they already did, but she had possibly HIV at the time, so that didnt' count... (don't ask me the logic behind that thinking...there isn't any...). Chase is just too damn bland to be unlikeable, although I am waiting for the day that House leads him around naked on a leash saying "good doggy...beg."

Most importantly however is the one thing that the characters need to learn: House is always right!

How many times do they have to question him and make whiny, bitchy comments behind his back before they understand this?

If you would care to look right....

2006-07-30T03:38:00.000+10:00

...you will notice the presence of a pleasant little addition to my blog. She's from Zwinky, and basically changes according to my mood on any particular day. :D

I thought it was such a fun little idea, and she looks pretty funky, so hopefully it will all prove to be a bit of fun.

Just click on her if you're interested in getting one for yourself.

We Always Knew Harry Was Gay...

2006-07-27T00:31:00.000+10:00

Note to Mozilla Users

2006-07-27T00:17:00.000+10:00

I just discovered that this blog doesnt' display properly with firefox, so I apologise for that. It kind of bites. THere's unfortunately nothing I can do about it though, so my blog is just going to have to look like crap for the few of us out there who do actually use it.

Yes Ben, you have converted me....

The Sequel: A Surprise Ending That Will Leave You Breathless

2006-07-26T23:33:00.000+10:00

Or, you know; not alternatively...

So, last night was the long anticipated Snow Patrol concert...

Everyone know's I'm not the biggest fan, but I'm definitely more of a fan after having seen them live.

The crowd was appalling. Half the people you could tell had never been to a gig in their lives. Ok...for everyone out there, here are a few do's and dont's:

Don't wear a mini dress - unless you like being finger raped by a whole bunch of adrenaline rushed sweaty men
Don't wear heels - you're standing for an insane amount of time...it's really not pleasant. Same rule goes for thongs. Although if you're stupid enough to wear thongs into a mosh you deserve the foot pain.
Don't bring a handbag. It gets annoying. I had to take one unfortunately, and I really wish I'd just dropped it.
Don't wear a top that can easily be undone or that breasts are liable to fall out of - for reasons that I'm sure are obvious.
Do tie your hair back. It keeps it from being pulled, and reduces the awful stench of smoke.
Do move!! Enjoy the music people!!!

I couldn't believe the crowd there. They were shocking. No one got into the music, no one moved. Snow Patrol are a little emo, and yet there was not one emo person there. At least Emo kids know how to enjoy their music. These people just stood there. There was a guy next to Kasi and I who we were pretty sure was actually falling asleep!

Starky was the support. They were a big part of the reason that I went in the first place. They rocked out. They were seriously awesome. The crowd just stood there like stunned mullets though. I didn't care. I went nuts anyway, and was the sole person to know the lyrics to any of their songs. At least I can enjoy my music, even if these generic people can't.

When Snow Patrol came out the crowd seemed to liven up a little. At least they were a little more vocal, but they still just stood there. Very, very disappointing. Didn't stop me having fun though. I just chose to slap around the girl behind me with my long plait. Hey, if you're not going to move with the rest of us then you get slapped with a pony tail. It's the rules of the game...

They were incredibly intense live. More reminiscent of Songs for Polar Bears. Live they get some of their heaviness back, rather than the emo stuff they've been releasing lately. The lighting was great for the music, and it was just an all round great gig. They seemed to love being there. I couldnt' take my eyes off the bass guitarist who, whenever he caught sight of the rare person who was dancing, or heard a cheer would just break out into this huge grin, like he was the happiest guy in the world that he could make the crowd happy with his music. They just seemed like a genuine band, who genuinely loved what they were doing. It's pretty rare to get the feeling from a band, and I'm glad the starky and snow patrol brought that out again. I appreciated it, even if the rest of the crowd couldnt' give a shit.

Overall, this gig was better than the TV on the Radio one for intensity, but worse for the crowd atmosphere.

Yay live music!!!

Giggity Gig

2006-07-25T09:12:00.000+10:00

So, this is my gig month. Tonight I'm seeing Snow Patrol, and on Sunday night I went to the TV on the Radio gig.

Let me say this for the whole evening: Awesome!! As a very pleasant and rare surprise Wolf and Cub (the support) as well as TV on the Radio were as good live, if not better than their studio produced work. WaC were just intense; damn Adelaide for being the ass end of the universe and actually producing decent music. A 4 piece band with two drummers?? They simply went off! The sound was intense, loud and totally mosh worthy. I recommend everyone go see them, and I'm really, really looking forward to their debut album which should come out really soon. Mmm, so much spendage of the monies...I only wish I had more of it. *sigh* The gig wasnt' that packed, so I have no idea how they would have thought that they could even slightly fill up the Forum theatre. They probably realised their mistake and that's why the changed the venue to the hi-fi. Have I told you all recently how much I despise that place? Well I do. The sound quality there was the only thing that even slightly brought the gig down.

One thing I did notice was that there was a strangely attractive crowd. Usually the people who go to gigs are pretty gross. They were all in their mid-late 20's, and of the original emo generation. Before they started dying their hair and cutting themselves. Everyone was quite swanky and elegant; although the girls who thought it was a good idea to wear high heels to a gig had to be laughed at. What were they thinking??

So, on to TV on the Radio. They were mindblowing. Their music was mellow as well as jumpy. It was exciting and fresh. They were unlike any band I have ever seen. They just go so immersed in their music, and seemed to forget the crowd was there half the time, just loving the moment. one of the guitarists looked a lot like Drew Carey on stage which made me laugh a little, but he just looked like he was loving being there so much that it was awsome. They were so chilled on stage. There were some technical difficulties and the roady was constantly running on and off stage fixing drum kits and mike stands. At one point the lead singer stopped what he was doing and made everyone give the roady a round of applause. He love it. It was like seeing close friends on stage, that's how comfortable they made you feel. If they ever are in your home town I most definitely recommend you see them. The experience is indescribable.

I hold only high hopes for the gig tonight. I'm not the biggest Snow Patrol fan, but it sounds like it should be a good night nonetheless. Besides, Starky are the support, and I'm a fan of theirs. Lets hope I don't have to get into any more punchons with idiots who bag the supports. I never got that....you're getting two bands for the price of one...just enjoy the free music....

Fun facts; the general public is stupid.

2006-07-19T23:12:00.000+10:00

Here's a fun fact for you all.

The Age assumes it's readership has the intellectual capacity of an 11 year old and writes it's articles accordingly.

The Herald Sun assumes the mental age of 9.

Taking this into account, how old do you think they assume the intellectual capabilities of the MX readers to be?

Think about it....

I love Transformers!!!

2006-07-19T09:47:00.000+10:00

Network News makes me sick

2006-07-18T10:39:00.000+10:00

I simply wanted to go on record and share my disgust at the recent coverage of the Justin Koschitzke incident.

For those of you who don't know, Justin Koschitzke collided with un umpire at a game last Saturday. I don't know the first thing about football, nor do I want to, being a soccer fan through and through. Have been all my life. My qualms however are not in this instance against the game, but about how the media reported the incident.

For those of you who saw the footage, you would have seen a very tall afl player run straight for the ball, completely disregarding the umpire who was standing near. They ended up colliding, hitting eachothers heads. I'm sure you've all done that at some point, and so you'd know how much it bloody well hurts. The footage went on to show a slightly dazed Koschitzke and an umpire lying sprawled on the ground, clutching his face in agony, rolling on the floor, clearly in the most amount of pain he's ever been in....

Then, on to the news report....

Apparently Justin Koschitzke chipped a tooth.

That's it??? What about that man that I just saw rolling on the floor in pain? Not a mention, not a word. He could be dead for all the media told us. He could be brain damaged from the force of the collission. I couldnt' believe it. I was disgusted. This was an accident that involved two people, and yet one of them didnt' even warrant a mention, except as the slightly irritating guy who took focus off the "star."

Sorry guys, but that was just bad form.

The moral of the story: stop watching network news.

Reality Television Worth Coming Home For!

2006-07-09T23:48:00.000+10:00

Sick and tired of the same old boring reality television? Equal parts man to woman, add in a couple of individuals, gender unknown, a whole lot of obnoxious rednecks, and the entire promiscuous population of any given city and you have any reality TV show created within the last few years.

It doesn't have to stay that way though. Introducting The Meow Mix House home to 10 previously homeless cats, where they fight (possibly to the death) for the affection of the viewing public.

Complete with cheezy voiceovers and blatant product placement this is a must see for all lovers of cute. Vote for the ones you love online now!

Ladies, start your swooning!!

2006-07-04T01:00:00.000+10:00

Sony BMG has brought the Hoff back!! He's alive and kicking it with his new music video "Come Jump in my Car." And here it is:

Don't you dare say I never do anything for you. ;-)

Take The Lead: A Pleasant Surprise

2006-06-21T00:54:00.000+10:00

So, today myself and my family went on an outing to the movies. We'd been planning it for a while, but htings just kept coming up.

We ended up seeing Take The Lead, the new dance film. While it has the generic 'reject' kids who are just misunderstood story line it still really managed to stick out independently as a throughly enjoyable film.

There is nothing about it that is breakthrough, but it's fast-paced, entertaining, witty, sexy, and manages to pretty much avoid the 'they're just misunderstood' speeches. It's just a lot of fun, and makes you want to dance; so in my opinion and complete cinematic success.

I definitely recommend it to everybody. I give it 4 stars out of 5.

Book Review: The Historian

2006-06-20T01:13:00.001+10:00

I had this posted on my old blog, but I just had to repost it here. Today the newspaper had an article on Elizabeth Kostova, and I just had to share my own opinion, once again, on her debut novel The Historian:

Kostova’s novel is a work that spans many centuries, as well as numerous settings and cultures. The narrative opens in 1972, in Amsterdam, when the young protagonist finds in her diplomat father’s library a pile of yellowed letters, and medieval book containing nothing but a woodcut dragon. Over the course of the novel her father gives fleeting glimpses into the convoluted tale, and his search for Dracula, or Vlad the Impaler. When her father goes missing, leaving only a note, she is forced to take on the search for herself, which leads her into dangerous and uncharted territory.

The book is well written, with a brilliantly conceived and researched storyline, and yet one gets the impression that Kostova had simply far too much information than she knew how to deal with. The ensuing result is a convoluted plot that stretches from the 15th century to 1972, from the East Bloc to London. The plots are not at all difficult to follow, showing Kostova a very capable writer, and yet many of the characters seem to become superfluous. What we end up with is a story, within a story, within a story. Her main character is in fact the most unnecessary of all, serving nothing to advancing the plot, and in fact making it more confusing than it needs to be.

The research however is vividly evident. The images of real historical horror are perhaps the most astounding of the book. Our narrator says of her father; "For all his attention to my historical education, my father had neglected to tell me this: history's terrible moments were real. I understand now, decades later, that he could never have told me. Only history itself can convince you of such a truth." Kostova masterfully blends the horror of history with the human element in each of her characters, resulting in a gripping read.

Although its narrative structure could have been tweaked a little, The Historian is an astounding novel. It is historical, real and full of human emotion, with a satisfying ending that makes the novel a pleasure to read.

4.5/5

Introductions

2006-06-12T00:05:00.000+10:00

Reader, meet Pandora. Pandora, meet reader.

I couldn't call myself a decent human being without introducing you to my favourite website in the world. I find it remiss off me not to have mentioned it earlier.

For all you music lovers out there www.pandora.com is definately an important addition to your favourites list.

Ping Pong Matrix Style.

2006-05-24T23:21:00.000+10:00

Check this out!! I thought it was pretty damn cool. Is that really nerdy of me?

Zombie Pics:

2006-05-22T23:37:00.000+10:00

http://llamapics.myphotoalbum.com/

And, for the greatest zombie mixtape known to mankind, streamed right to your very own computer check out the following link:

http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/music_specials/s1639989.htm

Drunken Zombies.

2006-05-21T19:16:00.000+10:00

Well, my weekend has been tiring, draining, and yet also quite fun.

After working all week I attended the 2006 annual Melbourne Zombie Shuffle. Trust me, when I got there I most certainly felt the zombie! I had just spent the evening previously at the party of one of John's (pictured with me left) school friends Mickey.

The party would have been a success for most, except that I was truly not in the mood for a cocktail party, knew hardly anyone there and felt uncomfortable and judged. Neither are feelings of which I am particularly fond; especially when all I really want to do is go out and party. As a consequence, John, Ben and myself ended drinking about 6 or 7 bottles of wine between the 3 of us, and our very, very drunken natures can be seen shining through in the pictured shown. To see more photos of the evening I have included a link to a photo album.

Photos of the Zombie shuffle itself will be posted tomorrow. It's late tonight, and the files are huge; suffice it to say that the day was a resounding success, with about 400 people showing up at various stages during the day.

It was almost that the only thing better than taking photos of the zombies themselves was taking photos of the faces of the people in their cars as we walked past.

To view the 21st photos, just click on 'Mickey's Drunken 21st' in the following link:http://pub34.bravenet.com/photocenter/album.php?usernum=2912432541

Holy Fucking Shit!!! Recognise these guys??

2006-05-14T02:05:00.000+10:00

You may all remember that a little while ago I sent out an email linking to this hilarious video of these two chinese kids lipsinking to 'I Want It That Way' by The Backstreet boys.

For those of you who haven't seen it, search it on google video, it's honestly one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Anyway, it turns out that these guy have their very own blog, right here at blogspot. It is a must see.

http://twochineseboys.blogspot.com/

How Can You Not Love Little Green Things?

2006-05-14T01:17:00.000+10:00

I just saw this video on youtube.com (thanks Lliam!) and thought it was the cutest thing....

The 2006 Melbourne Zombie Shuffle

2006-05-14T00:18:00.000+10:00

I am here to announce that Melbourne will be holding the 2006 Zombie Shuffle this Saturday, May 20th.

If I can get enough friends to come along, I will be attending. It's going to be such an awesomely pointless waste of time...I will be there screaming:

"What do we want?"
"Brains!"
"When do we want them?"
"Brains!!"

I will be sure to take lots of photos, so keep your eyes out for them.

For more information, check out http://zombieshuffle.livejournal.com/

Pamela's Llama Pen

Creedocide!

Have they found Atlantis?

A "grid of streets" on the seabed at one of the proposed locations of the lost city of Atlantis has been spotted on Google Ocean.

Science Fail

Don't worry folks, it's just the moon...

Police say UFO

was just the Moon

What Was #1 on the Day You Were Born?

Spook Country: Review

Myf to Triple M

Robyn is here?

Monkography

Execution style shooting in a school car park

Es gibt kein bier auf Hawaii

LOL CATZ is teh bomzors

Tiny Plaid Ninjas

I sang to a baseball bat because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.

Public Service Announcement!

Gifts for Ben...

Requiem for my lost innocence...

I couldn't resist...

OMG It's EUROVISION!!!

Spot The Difference...

Watzing Matilda: Explained

Spiders on Drugs: Exposed!!

Har Mar Superstar and the Red Hot Chili Peppers

Nicholas Cage + Bear Suit + Violence towards Women. Australia says...well, you tell me...

Have a totally pimpin' Easter

How to 'boink' your vehicle...

Warning: Lyrics post coming up. Tune out if you were expecting something more impressive.

Cute or Sad?

The Dog Suicide Bridge

I told you she was hot...

Awesome Tee-Shirts

Neill Saves Christmas

The Top 5...

The Book of Revelations Got It Wrong...

Nappies for Duckies

Too much study...

Happy Valentines Day

Naked Dancing Llamas!!!

I'm sorry Ma'am, you can't park your van here...

Now I know why I couldn't get the hang of it...

Body of Work

Happy Hottest 100 Day, aka Australia Day

Not Just Another Shit New Gameshow With Eddie Mcguire

Fun Facts About Film

Saxton Freymann

Band Of Horses Rock

The Triffids Return

Cute Overload

Public Service Announcement: Everything You Ever Needed To Know About Zombies

I, For One, Would Be Concerned

Welcome To The Apocalypse

Archaeologists Uncover Ancient Race of Skeleton People

Today's Horoscopes

Aries March 21 - April 19

Taurus April 20 - May 20

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Leo July 23 - August 22

Virgo August 23 - September 22

Libra September 23 - October 23

Scorpio October 24 - November 21

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

Capricorn December 22 - January 19

Aquarius January 20 - February 18

Pisces February 19 - March 20

Just Because It's So Damn Cute!

Against My Better Judgement...

Where did the llamas go?

Welcome To Totally Lame Things to Put in Your Blog - O - Clock

Too Much Metal For One Hand

Metal Council Convenes To Discuss 'Metal Hand Sign' Abuse

Hope Is Emo

Reliving The Music...

The Honourary 'What Were They Thinking?' Awards

Could we all be so unlucky?

Woman forsakes her beautiful face

A "grid of streets" on the seabed at one of the proposed locations
of the lost city of Atlantis has been spotted on Google Ocean.